Dangerous Prayer

I love this statement: "Dangerous Prayer"

I lived a life so un-secure. Not to mention insecurity. I developed in my psyche the attitude to be strong for the longest of time. Other people under estimates me, or just "concerned" with my health condition.

I didn't like it.

I wanted a secure life, full of life and love. A place where I can be me and develop my strengths and attributes to the fullest. I want a life of A D V E N T U R E !!!!

Yet, I'm still here. Waiting. Wrestling with God. Having a fist fight over my comfort zones.- My emotions, mind and will are in constant struggle for the Lordship of Jesus Christ which was offered years ago.

With discipline to be still. It was impressed upon my heart, that I am small. I am but a speck of dust. All along my plans I thought was grand. But still, since it came from me...it is still small.

Then one day, I prayed what I believe, a "Dangerous Prayer".

"Lord, my dreams are small. I'm tired of having things my way. Take it, its Yours..."

The will followed. Or at least, I believe my psyche followed that declaration. I am still haggling my case to God, but now I believe I prayed a dangerous prayer. May He grant me the grace to let go of the temporary and embrace His Lordship and see in the eyes of faith what is in store for me.

I'm tired of being pissed off by people. I guess I can see their hearts. Their hearts mirrors mine. I want my heart will mirror my Lover, my Creator-- Jesus Christ. Let peace reign in my heart. I want to rise on higher ground.

I want to love unconditionally as my Lover did.

I want to live dangerously.

Mentors on the Journey

I really enjoy it when I am in the presence of mentors. I am always in awe how much discipline and sacrifices they went through just to achieve their level right now. I am not after their position or status, but I love the way they are able to share wisdom to me and how willing they are to coach me through life if not to journey with you along the way.

One mentor told me: " Bata ka pa...OK lang yan." ( "You are still young. It's Ok."-On having a relationship). In terms of her age and mine, she would really tell me that. But comparing me to my pears, I think I am way ahead.

Speaking to these people gives a Placebo effect on me. I am calmed, believing everything is alright.

I am not always the type who are asking questions. I am not confrontational. I just want to hear what a person has to say.I get wisdom from people for what they did or did not do. There are issues in life that I did not quite understand in the past. For people who did not wisely walked the path, I can say that I was quite afraid to journey the path myself. But as I go along, It seems the journey is inevitable. We will pass through stages of life.

I don't understand why people must journey alone? There are available men and women of wisdom who can be trusted and can journey with us? These mentors does not impose what they know but they allow the person to understand and decide what path to take. To be accountable with someone who cares for you lessens the probability to pick the wrong choice. For there is someone who was there already. It helps us not to repeat the same mistakes (SIN) again.

Mentors remind me of the perspective that God is mindful of me and that I should be a good steward of my time. Now that I'm still single, This is the best time to maximize my time and resources to honor God in my singleness. I know, in God's beautiful time God has someone prepared for me. Together we will serve the Lord wherever He may lead.

I always love to be at the feet of mentors who, the best that they can is obeying God. God bless these people in my life and I want them at my wedding. Hahahaha!