Looking Forward to year 2007

So many things happened to me these past weeks. Both good and bad. Ngaragan sa pag organize ng Birthday fellowships ni Jesus last week, chance to be bonded to friends who I can be me, no titles,no responsibilities. Be with dear friends, coffee time and have no normal sleep. Dami pa iba.
I'm here in Capiz. Indeed this is a gift. I don't plan to be here, but I feel this is the best place to meet my Savior again...Minus the busyness of Manila! wheeee!!!!
I've never been excited to face 2007. I feel this is a year of promises and God's faithfulness. I told my dear friend in our coffee date, "I've never been this excited to face 2007!I feel that this is a year God will clean the mess I made...basta! I feel so hopeful."
It's is not the 2007 year thing that is making me euphoric, It's the hope I have in my beautiful Savior Jesus Christ. I'm telling to my dear friends, "Asa pa ako sa buhay ko, sa Lord lang ako may future..." Yeah, I'm re-learning what my name, GRACE really means. And GRACE Keeps me alive.
Lord, Date Tayo ha...Meet me. I love you.

NOTE TO SELF

Kindred Spirit is a gift...Differences is NORMAL.Live with it

Favorite Things

Hmm... Bukod sa mga special people in my life, So far, these are my favorite things, things that makes me happy just by the thought of it.:
1. Cross
2. Stars. Especially when in a Mountain Top view (awww! I miss Sibonga!)
3. Big Shady trees
4. Majestic Mountains
5. Rainbows. Even if found in not so likely places
6. White Roses
7. Interesting Book
8. Painting or Artwork from a friend or a kid
hmm...so far these are my favorite things. But thankful ako this week kasi napaaga ang Christmas gifts ko! hahaah! salamat!salamat!

No Shortcuts

Many roads in life seem to Lead me to glory
The world and all its
PleasuresTo make my life so easy
O Lord, help me to look
At the cross amidst all these
That I may take the road
That leads to Your embrace

**Jesus, I am weak
Your strength is all I need
Help me not take shortcuts
Make me follow your lead
Help me die, so I might live

Bridge:
To take the cross in everyway
And bear it daily all the way
This call You gave I have Received
I pray O Lord each day to live

LCDC Peaks...

KC Mates





CICF SA LCDC...

Trees

I'm a lil bit upset every time I pass through the trees ruined by the typhoon Milenyo:s as I ride going to school. I' m sad to see the broken branches and even the uprooted giant trees. Sigh...
One of my wish is that someday my family could find a haven in our province and atleast plant a tree that would grow sturdy, make a "payag" behind it and have an excellent moment or siesta under the shady tree...
On the other hand, I desire to work in an NGO that focuses in Nature. so five or six days a week, I will marvel and get hurt because of God's creation and on the Sabbath day, I will enjoy fellowship of believers.hehehe...
kelan pa yun?!?
waaahhh!!!
Segueway:
Wanted: a HOME CHURCH. Where I will feel welcome, needed, and at the same time ministers to me as I desire to minister to other brethren as well. Not the One way only when the individual does all the giving. A church who would affirm who I am and love me for who I am and not because of what I do. A Biblical Church who desires to please and honor God in their lifestyle and not just a sunday Christian. Honest, and knows the value of accountability. a Church whom I can have fellowship in the day of Sabbath. a day of rest and refuge for the children of the King.
I'm sick of wandering...
"Sometimes you have to put walls up around you not to keep people out... But to see who cares enough to break them down just to be with you..."

God's Favor

Haaayy...

I'm sooooo soooo happy ngayon. Ang iyong lingkod ay dakilang walang pakialam sa mundo so I really don't mind if hindi ako mapansin ng mundo...ehem, ng mga tao pala (But this attitude I know have pros and cons, I know...I know). Then, my prof, aba! embarrassed me,well, hindi naman talaga ako napahiya, kasi wala pa akong tulog, kaya bangenge ako at wala gaano maramdaman. She jsut rebuked me kasi hindi ako marunong gumawa ng lesson plan! hahaha! sabi nya hindi ako nakikinig sa kanya...nakikinig ako, pero hindi ko lang pinapaedit ang gawa ko sa kanya, kaya raw at walang kwenta sa kanya ang pinasa ko. But then, kahit na pinagalitan nya ako, tinuro pa rin nya sa akin ang format. at yun na lang ang finals na gagawin ko. wahahaha! nakakalokang finals. But still, I 'm thankful sa kanya kasi she blessed me. She told me na magigng magaling akong teacher, but i have to learn how to make a lesson plan. hahahahaha!!!! natatawa talaga ako! at the same time touched. Kasi naman, I don't think she knows me that well to affirm me, well, maliban na lang kung kinacareer nya talaga ang mga compositions na gawa ko.

And she teaches with a heart. Kaya lang sobrang intimidated ako sa class kaya low profile ako...feeling nya hindi ako pumapasok. Mga Graduate students kasi ang mga classmates ko. kaya Autistic ako sa class for a sem.

Basta yun. Sooobrang thankful ako sa Lord I found favor sa prof ko.ang Lord yun. I just did my part.

Saan lupalop ng Maynila pwede akong sumigaw?!?

3 more subjects to go....

Sana 2nd sem na!!!

LCDC pa pala muna...

Birthday Wish

May Jesus Put a New Song in my heart...

Tapos na ang Draft!

Haaay Lord....Marami salamat po...natapos ko na ang draft assignment ko for thesis. Wish ko lang, next time, walang makisawsaw na problem sa akin. Sakit sa ulo. Grrr....

MY PRESS RELEASE ABOUT MY FAMILY

Ang mapalayo sa pamilya ko ay mahirap. Pero ang nangyari sa amin ay isang step of faith.Hindi ko alam ang purpose ng Panginoon, but as I understand the situation, It is due to Economic and Safety reasons for my siblings. Dagdag na rin ang kadahilanang gusto ng aking mga magulang ang mag settle down sa probinsya some day kapag nag retire na sila.
Nagpaalam naman ng maayos ang aking ina sa kanilang pagprepare sa pag alis. Mahirap iyon, ngunit ang calling ng aking ina,more than anything else ay ang paglingkuran ang Panginoon through her family. Major change nga lang dahil tinawag sila ng Panginoon sa probinsya ng Capiz.
Alam ko po marami ang nahirapan nang umalis ang aking pamilya especially ang aking ina. Ngunit sana maluwag sa inyong puso ang i-bless sila at maging happy sa kanilang choice. This is learning to let go and praise the Lord kasi nakilala nyo ang aking nanay.
Sa aking simbahan na natutunan mahalin at na attach sa nanay ko, it is time to learn to let go. As you miss my family, say a little prayer for them. Ang kulitin ako kung kailan sila uuwi ay nakakadagdag sa pagpapahirap sa aking loob (stress) because more than anybody else, ako ang nasasaktan, but I have to let go. MAGFUFUNCTION ANG SIMBAHAN KAHIT WALA ANG NANAY KO. TINUTURUAN LANG TAYO NG PANGINOON NA UMALIS SA COMFORT ZONE. NAGING COMFORTABLE KASI NUNG NANDYAN ANG NANAY KO. (minsan, naiisip ko rin na sisihin ang nanay ko na hinayaang sobrang maattched ang mga tao na minsan hirap na magpatuloy dahil umalis na siya.) HINDI PO MESSIAH ANG NANAY KO. NYAY! Nakakatakot. LET US LEARN TO TRUST GOD AND THANK HIM FOR BRINGING PEOPLE IN OUR LIVES, PERO ANG MAATTACHED SA TAONG BINIGAY NG DIYOS MORE THAN JESUS AY NAKAKATAKOT NA SITUATION.LET US NOT PUT A PERSON SA PEDESTAL, KASI BAKA MAG FALL SIYA, DI RIN NATIN KAYANIN. LET US LEARN TO TRUST GOD MORE THAN PEOPLE.
LET US BE SENSITIVE SA MGA FEELINGS NG IBANG TAO. HINDI YUNG IPIPILIT LANG NATIN ANG GUSTO NATIN. WE CAN SUGGEST, PERO ANG SUBTLE MANIPULATION AY HINDI MAGANDA.
WE CANNOT KEEP A PERSON FOREVER. PEOPLE COME AND GO. WHAT IS OUR RESPONSE? THANKFUL HEART? SUPPORT? OR SELFISHNESS?
HELP US.PRAY FOR US.
MARAMING SALAMAT PO.

3 Noble Men in 3 Weeks

I'm so honored to have a quality time with these noble men in a span of 3 weeks. The Lord is the only one who made this possible.
So I should say I had a Pseudo-love life for this month of August. I believe love naman ako ng mga guys whom I am talking about. Hehehe...
First is Karl. After a whole ngarag friday of August 11, He paid PCU a visit. Since we are bonded in the wonder of KC, He is so welcome sa fellowship. Kaya lang nagsiuwian na ang mga CICF, Nagkwentuhan na lang kami sa Boracay (place sa PCU)With Thea and mga namamasyal at pakalat-kalat na CICF. Ayaw magreply ni Sherry, kaya tuloy, kami na lang nagkwentuhan.Muntik na nya ako mapaiyak...hehehe...
Second is Paolo.After the Freshmen Treat, Last August 22, Tatawid na sana ako sa Tandang Sora para umuwi, i felt someone tapping my back. Pambihira, si Paolo-KC mate once again ang nakita ko. Goodlak naman sa amin at mag usap sa kalye, syempre, hindi ko matitiis na kabatian ko lang ang KC mate ko sa kalye. Kaya yun,we ate sa chowking and kwentuhan ng mga Ups and Downs.
Third and a gift to me is my TATAY! He fetched me at Cosmopolitan Church in Taft Avenue and we had a date in Pizza Hut Delta. Nakasandal ako sa chest ni tatay habang nasa byahe at na sa likod ng FX. I'm cherishing the moments to be secured with my tatay. Medyo naluha ako kasi I know, He will not stay for long. We are just enjoying and making the most out of our time.
During those times, I am physically tired, I guess also emotionally. Being with them is God's incentives to me.Hehehe...nah, It's God's way of showing me that He cares. As I see their lives,I see imperfection but I'm also seeing men striving to rise above the challenges and acknowledging that the strength that they have is all by God's mercy and grace.
I thank the Lord for these men.
Lord, please rise more Godly men in my sight. Ayaw ko po ng sorority. hehehe...
I love you guys!
I love you tatay.
Ingat kayo lagi.

Thanks sisters!

After a week of nakakabangang, nakakapraning na buong isang linggo...

Thank you sisters for teaching to SMILE, TO LAUGH AND TO ENJOY LIFE ONCE AGAIN.

PANALO KAYO. LOVE YOU!!!

I NEED REST

I need a guilt- free, all day in bed,music tripping Day off...












So Help me God.





Or else I'LL be dead in few months.

Need 2 Groups

Haay Lord,
Two more to go...I need two groups where I can grow in an another phase. I hope You will open and lead me to a Christian group of artists, preferably painters and be with them and learn through them and Paint with all my heart as I see the beauty of Your creation.
Second, I want to join a dance group where I can learn interpretative dancing and worship You with all that I have.
Right now, I 'm thankful where you placed me. I'M LEARNING A LOT. Through IVCF, I'm learning servant-leadership, CICF- Application of the trainings I have, Haribon Foundation - I'm learning and appreciating Your Creation and how to protect it, I'm also welcome in Onesimo foundation where I have also group of ladies who are growing in grace in You.
NYMM. Thank you! after two years of waiting to be a part of this movement, you placed me here and partnering with "bigating" mobilizers.Hehehe...
I'm so thankful I meet different kinds of people and groups. Someday, You will lead me where I am most needed and where I will adequately grow.
Thank You. I know You'll answer me in Your time. Amen.

Science and Bible

I affirm my teacher during my 4th year highschool. During our World History Class, he added to his lecture the consistency of the Bible in its contribution in documenting history of kings and kingdoms who captured Israel, apparently, are the mighty kingdoms during their times.

Also, I have watched a documentary film that presented the Bible facts and its consistency with science. It is so amazing that my faith which is anchored in the Truth (the Bible) is being affirmed by science and not the way around.

Although many scientists are said to be 'atheist' and keep on insisting that there is no God, they can't refute the reality of God's creation. My friends who loves God and is scientifically inclined (and soon they will be an excellent scientists and medical doctors) is always in awe whenever they come across a subject and science can't explain how it happened and it is intricately created, for example, the complexities of human brain and body. And it is so impossible that it is just 'evolved' by itself.

In my field of psychology, which is the study of human behavior (but I like sociology better...hehehe) theorists just mixed and evolve and created scientific terms on human behavior and emotions, which is from the start has been a constant reminder to us from God to "...guard our heart, for it is a well-spring of life." God knew better.

Psychology in its expertise aims to understand and to a wider extent, desires to treat a person as he is having an emotional or mental problem. But Jesus offers healing and freedom from the things that enslave a person. Because He is the Truth and the Life, also, the Only Way.

It is funny for other people to think that they know better when they have knowledge in science and that they doesn't need God. Others seem to believe in God, but they are so full of themselves and subtlely may think they are god and have things their own way because sometimes, if one has knowledge in science, he has the capacity to manipulate things.

After all, at the end of our road, we are still under God's mercy. What do we have to boast? Me, I just enjoy the learnings I acquire and always remind myself that Truth and all these learnings I awe to my Master. Enjoy life, cherish and value people. If I know everything in this world but does not know how to love, LIFE IS BORING.

Learning To Pray more

A blessed Birthday to my Cousin- Reynalie Motin!

Pupunta ako sa kanila mamaya. Baka dun na rin ako matulog.

Kahapon, I can sense na wala sa mood ang sangkatauhan para magkitakita at mag business meeting. Personally, ako naman, parang malalaglag ang puso ko sa eekie feeling. Basta, hindi ko madescribe. Not to mention yung feeling ko na I'm so vulnerable that time. Hindi ko kakayanin if may problem na magshare sa akin. Kasi ako nga, gusto ng makakausap, Mahihingahan. Pero after the short meeting, Victorious ang Lord. Salamat sa Worship time namin sa Lord at pagcoclose ni Echo sa panalangin, I felt better. God's peace enveloped me.

I dropped by sa SM. Hehehe...feeling ko may isang malaking invisible glass ang nakashelter sa akin.Feeling ko rin lutang ako.

Lakad ang drama ko.nakakapagod din. Kaya lang nung last part na, nung naghihintay na ako ng jeep para one ride pauwi, 45 minutes- 1hour yata ako nag intay. Sa king pag-iintay, The Lord prompted me to pray all kinds of prayer...hehehe..then poof! dumating na yung jeep.

I just remember my prayer last time. I asked Him to level up my prayer life. Haay... I have so much to learn.

Ayun, thank God for rest ngayon. Kahit feeling ko vulnerable pa rin ako.

Thank God for His promises...I'm learning to claim it na.

Haay...I need to talk to kindred spirits ulit. But every body seems so busy.

Astig na Pinsan and Some rants

Kanina, After lunch and after church, Cousin ko, si Rin-Rin ay naglambing sa akin na mag ARTS raw kami, I asked her what kind? sabi nya kahit ano raw. Kaya, nilatag ko ang wonder banig, nilabas ang mga art raw materials. She made a birthday card na unique at maganda, while I'm trying to finish my papier mache. Grabe, talented ng pinsan ko, She's so good in playing guitar, Drawing at ang panalo sa lahat ay ang pagiging tahimik nya. She can be with you for hours na walang reaction o salita. That doesn't bothered me. inggit nga ako sa kanya , meron siyang ganung reputation. Di tulad sa akin may expectation mag salita, at kapag nagsalita naman ako, mamimiss-interpret. Hahaha! Ironic talaga.

Tumawag si nanay kanina, wala lang akong ganang kausapin siya kasi pera na naman ang topic. I'M SO SICK ABOUT MONEY MATTERS. Iba na talaga ang dating kapag pera na ang pinag-uusapan. Parang mas importante ang magtipid kaysa ang kamustahin ako.(Haha! magdrama daw ba?!?) Oh well, the brighter side of my situation now is I'm learning to pray intelligently for my family kasi wala akong magawa sa situation namin. Ang disadvantage, Hindi ako makapagshare sa phone. I'd rather listen sa mga kwento kaysa ako ang nagkukwento. I just feel that the other party is not interested to my story. Rather, It's just me. Hindi ko lang talaga feel magkwento over the phone. Kahit nga sa tatay ko.

Days that passed, same pa din ang nararamdaman ko. I just thank the Lord sinasamahan nya talaga ako. He keeps me sane.Still experiencing the dose of my weird prayers.

May toyo ako kanina, I admit. I can tolerate some mistakes, But I guess kapag ang mistake na na commit ng tao ay opposed sa values na mayroon ako, I find it hard to to forgive. I am learning and understanding myself sa phase na ito ng buhay ko. I know should not be like this. Kasi there will be more and more people who will hurt me. I will not let it happen.

I can not disciple all. But I'm praying for 4 high school girls na pwede kong idisciple. Yung potential. At higit sa lahat, yung marunong makinig.

I am telling Pastor kanina na it is interesting to research on (and find?) guys who grew to manhood with an exceptional, if not good character , even if they grew up without a father. Kasi naman, we all know Fathers have crucial role in a child's life. And we say in fact or in theory na kaya nagiging bading o barumbado ang isang lalaki because wala siyang Ama.

I know a good guy-friend of mine na bata pa lang, wala na siyang Ama, napatay(?) But as I observe him, He is one of the gentlemen I know existing.Hehehe...I need to know others pa.

Which reminds me, I want to research on youth culture. Sana research ang work ko after I graduate.

Hmm... these are my rants for today.I'm missing my siblings so much.

ThE Calling (?!?)

I Just realized, nung bagong Christian ako, or nung 1st time ko magdesire na lumago sa Panginoon, I asked for His Will...ahem, ahem, this is not the usual context ng "God's will" on waiting or looking for future partners, But to really know God's will in my life. Alam ko na nga ba? But in my present state, I can say na nalaman ko na, and that is to fall in love with my Savior each day.

Ngayon naman, level up na ba ito? I'm asking my Lord what is His calling for me after college life? I learned from mentors, mga ate sa pananampalataya,na ang Calling ng Lord may alter. Basta, gets ko sila. Dati yung fear ko sa calling ay baka ipadala ako ng Lord sa lugar na hindi ko feel, or hindi ako competent, pero magaling ang Lord. Hindi naman siya berdugo at sadista na ipipilit ang mga bagay na "hindi ko feel" hinuhubog Niya ang puso ko ayon sa nais nya. which is beautiful.

But my problem now, which also freaks me out is ang mga doubts. No question na mahal ko ang mga ginagawa ko, But what if what I'm doing and giving is not enough? Feeling ko magiging palpak ako.

Minsan na-vavibes ko na sobrang laking expectations ng mga tao sa akin, e escape artist ang inyong lingkod, kaya minsan gusto ko na lang maglaho. Kaya minsan ayaw ko magvolunteer (but if i-vovolunteer ako ng iba, ok lang..hehehe) kasi baka hindi ko kayang panindigan.

Buti na lang at the end of the day, gusto ng Lord ko na maging Anak lang Niya ako in His presence. Walang credentials,positions, etc. Just a child in His arms.

So, sa lahat ng pinasilip ng Lord na doors sa akin, saan nya kaya ako papapasukin after I graduate? And I pray na I'll graduate gracefully.

Thank you Lord!

May exams pa ako bukas.

Tagged by Rovy

Hehehe...In fairness cute nitong Tag challenge dear. Medyo lampas yata sa 10.Miss you! God bless!

iNsTrUcTiOnS: Name ten (10) of life's simple pleasures that you like the most, then pick ten (10) people to do the same. Try to be original and creative and not to use things that someone else has already used.

10.Travel. Pamasahe lang ang dala, yet marami na ang adventure na nangyari.

9.Tumambay sa National Bookstore,bili ng book,magazine or raw material for my arts and crafts.

8.Mabigyan ng chocolates with nuts!pwede na ring chocnuts. hahaha...naalala ko nun, naiyak ako sa sobrang tuwa kasi dumating pinsan ko and mabigyan ng tsokolate, M&Ms w/Peanuts and Snickers.

7. Magbasa ng mga natapos ko ng prayer journals and high light mga quotes na nagawa ko sa sobrang senti with God.

6.Read childrens book with pictures.hehehe...

5. White roses,fireworks,love letters,star gaze in any province.hehehe

4. Arts and Craft time with my bestfriend, pwede rin mag join ang may gusto.

3.Makabili ng books,magazine, bags,any of my interests at a very low price. Yung tipong love gift na lang sa may ari ang ibabayad sa kanya. (I got Health mag for Php 25.00, Road Less Travelled from P500+ to P150 lang, Adidas big Shoulder bag worth a thousand pesos for P20.00.hehehe)

2.Heart to heart talks with kindred spirits

1.Know that I am loved.

I pass the ball to..

1. Tarits
2. Mommy Hannah
3. Mommy Chiri
4. Lady Timbrelsgreen
5. Bluestar_beauty
6. Ark
7. Johanna
8. Ate Mide
9. Billy
10. Karl

I remember...

What would you do on a Sunday rainy afternoon? Me, memories flashing back...some of these are:

• Intayin si Ate Jo sa terminal ng Jam Station sa Buendia,maiwan na last trip sa Lemery, bumiyahe puntang Lipa,pagbaba ay parang walang hinahabol na oras at kumain sa chowking at our own pace, paglabas ay saktong may Bus papuntang Lemery. Should we be late, sa kalye kami magpapaumaga.Pero hindi. God is just right in time. Sobrang hele kami as we travel for pre-camp time sa LCDC2K4.
• I remember na nakaheart to heart talk ko agad si Kit from the first time we met sa Bataan LCDC2K2.
• Miss ko na ang bonding/jamming namin sa banyo ni Tarits sa mga songs na may voice na may parts.She sings the alto part,me, the soprano. hehehe..
• First time ko maivite nun as an ISCF junior counselor summer 2K3. Hahaha..ang first assignment ko ay ang mag turo sa card making workshop. And dakilang assistant sa lahat ng bagay. which is so ok.
• First time to realize I can't do what I'm supposed to do (which is to be an "ate" to the young ones) and realizing its an honor to serve the Lord and nakakatakot at the same time. Sobrang iyak ko nung ISCF precamp worship time.
• Worship Night nung IVCF LCDC2K4. We are a broken people giving our all and humblest worhip to the Author and Finisher of our faith. WE REALLY STAND IN AWE IN HIM DURING THAT TIME.And we are never the same after that.
• IVCF LCDC2K5.Is the best LCDC for me. Not because sobrang ganda ng camp, but it was the camp I saw the Lord moved in each and every one and in the whole camp. His hand was upon us.We are humbled that it was really His work.When our strength is pushed to the limits, His grace abounds and we can all say This is Him who works.
• MLC EXEC2K5 Q.T. Together in Mt. Gethsemane Tower Q.T. room. Haay...dito ko mas minahal ang MLC people and MLC ministry, how the Lord has gathered us and worhip Him in our thankfulness and tireness. Amazing how the Lord is working in and through us during this camp.
• Camp Praise and Prayer Times. Mapa ISCF,IVCF-LCDC, KC Praise and prayer times makes me human and never fails to make me cry. Sobrang overwhelming, minsan wala na maipanalangin, iiyak na lang sa Lord. Sobrang amazing ang umawit ng papuri sa umaga kasama ng kapaligiran na kay ganda ng gawa ng Manlilikha.
• Ang mainvite na Camp Artist sa ISCF LCDC2K6.Hesitant ako, but this is God's way for me to share my hidden talent.hehehe...
• Worship time with Highschoolers in LCDC2K6. It never enough.I miss the time worhipping God in our brokeness, hiya, hesitancy,and Moses syndrome.haha
• Iyakan namin ni Ida.hehehe...I really love this sister of mine.I thank and Praise God for her life.
• Kawayan Camp moments. paano ko makakalimutan ito? No. 1 taga gulo ng buhay. Hehehe...anyways, I became more human, or even, this is just a haven of rest, for the rest of my life ay maalis at maalis ako sa comfort zone ko.
• KC Missions experience: tumambling ako literary and left me swollen right knee due to Missions jouney and difficulty assimilation.feeling ko nga sa laki ng maga sa tuhod ko ay magkakacancer ako.hahaha...Hindi ako nakajoin sa worship time, Ate cheery joined me in weeping.I really wept very hard.
• Pinaiyak ako sa song ni Karl nung worship time nung LCDC. Grr..but the Worship song is really good.
• I realized that we are "first hand-student missionaries" in school. That makes my KC experience freaky.hehehe...
• Good byes are the hardest. Hindi pa rin yata graceful ang IVCF on good byes.Pero ok lang. Atleast we have something to look forward to, after ungraceful goodbyes.

Marami pa iba, I believe I will remember it soon. But also, I remember my Lord's faithfulness and my kapalpakan. Still he loves me. Salamat.

Pa-Ampon

Lord,

Sana may family na mag-ampon sa akin in my present state. Ano kaya ang feeling na ako naman ang inaampon? Marami ako "kapatid sa labas" by my family's choice. And I myself, in a sense ay nagkaroon ng anak, kaya lang ngayon nilayo siya sa akin.Hmm... ngayon kaya Lord sino aampon sa akin? You know my needs Lord. I believe you will answer that in Your own time.

Still, thank you for people you are placing in my life. Bless them as they blesses me.

Thank you Lord. for you are my Lord and you are in control.

I love you.

I LOVE YOU

Akala ko manhid na ako...or wala na ako matututunan sa buhay. Still, The Lord is letting me learn. In tears. To be human once again, to learn to love, and fall in love with Him, til it hurts.

The core of my existence is to worship my Savior. Kaya lang minsan, it will be put to the test. Ang hirap pala.Nakakatakot. Feeling ko hindi ako papasa.

I want to give my Lord the best. Kaya lang minsan, my best is not good enough. Parang hindi papasa sa kahit na anong standards. Praise Him, he reminded me na all He wants is not my accomplishments,credentials or what I attained, He desires me to be His child who is willing to have bonding with Him, to cry to Him, and desire His presence always.

I remember my heartfelt prayers. Nung mga oras na sinabi ko yung mga prayers na iyon, umiiyak ako. Kasi nakakatakot kaya yung hinihingi ko. Bakit kasi yun ang pinagpray ko? Kasi nga, MAHAL KO SIYA.simple as that but it not seem to be that simple.

This is the dose of my prayer. Nyaknyak...konti pa lang ba ito?!? malamang.

Pero I'm still thankful. Kasi connect ako sa aking humanity and existence. Tao pa rin ako. Marunong pa rin ako umiyak.

This is worshipping in Brokenness.

I love YOU.

Trying To be nice

Nah, what I read, being "nice" is "being stupid" kaya trying to be kind na lang.Last saturday, medyo sumakit ang ulo ko sa mga truths na I have to re-learn right away. Thanks for the gentle rebuke of mommy chiri.

I will re-learn to be kind and to be patient again to people I can't understand.

I'm also re-learning to connect to people who unconsciously "hurted" me. I'm not doing this kasi kaya ko, but because this is what Jesus wants me to do.He'll give me strength to obey.

***sigh***

Missing a Secured life

I'm missing my secured moments. Basta...feeling ko ngayon I'm so vulnerable. Anytime magbebreak down. I'm also feeling na hindi enough ang mga efforts ko. I don't desire for affirmation. I desire for security. Kung wala as of now, have no choice.This is what I chose. Intay lang ng konti... UWIAN NA...bakit kasi ang tagal-tagal.

I have no one to talk to...kawawa naman ang makakarinig ng kwento ko.

Gusto ko bumalik sa Gethsemane Prayer Mountain!!!!

MAAWA KA...

Announcements Muna ulit...

IVCF Corporation Meeting

Punta Kayo...hopefully makapunta din ako. may class ako nyan e.

Announcements Muna...

HARIBON FORUM FOR JULY:

GOING NATURAL: What are the benefits of organic food and farming?
July 20, 2006;
6:00 PM
Meralco Mini-Theater,
Lopez Building, Meralco CenterOrtigas Avenue, Pasig City
Entrance fees are P20 for students and P50 professionals/ non-students.

Haribon Members get 10% off! We request that you confirm your attendance by calling Vyxz Vasquez at436-4363 or 920-7430 or email us at advocacy@haribon.org.ph,



Please feel free to print and post this on your office/church/barangay/school Bulletin Board!

Sana masurvive ko ito...

May reporting ako. Still I'm not ready. Sana masurvive ko ngayung araw. Ayaw ko na nasa ibang lugar kapag malakas ang ulan. I hate it, especially when I'm in school during rainy days. May trauma na ako na mastranded anywhere other than home. haay....

PROVE THEM

Di pa raw kasi ako naiin-love kaya ganito ako, Parang sabi ng friend ko na nirerefute sya nang sinabi nya sa iba na "You become wise from learning from your mistakes, but you are wiser if you learn from others mistakes"...hindi sila naniniwala sa kanya.

Parang ganun din ako ngayon.Ibang anggulo nga lang." Hindi ka pa kasi na-iinlove kaya mo nasasabi yan..." ay utang na loob! yeah, I may be wrong sa mga pasaway na side comments ko kanina, but my whole point is, (which, they didn't gave me the chance to speak up 'coz they "know" more) When you said GOODBYE,GOODBYE NA. wala nang balikan. grr...pakialaman ba lovelife ng may lovelife. Also,bumabalik kung sino ang love mo.If the person is really is a JESUS FREAK,SOBRANG IN LOVE KAY JESUS,PATI ANG MAIN-LOVE SA TAO AY BINUBUNO AT HINIHINGI PA SA DIYOS. AT HINDI MAGPAPAKATANGA AT MAGPAPABUNTIS.

sO, FOR SHORT, Hindi nakakatulong ang mga remarks nila...Nakakainis

NAG GIGRIEVE LANG KASI ANG HEART KO SA MGA YOUTH WHO MADE THE OLDIES THINK THAT WAY. BUT I BLAME THE OLDIES DIN IN A WAY NA THEY DIDN'T MAKE THE EFFORT TO REACH OUT TO THESE YOUTH NA SINASABI NA MAAGA MAGLANDI. AND THEY HAVE THE NERVES NA SABIHIN NA "A...GANITO TALAGA KAYONG KABATAAN....BLAH...BLAH..."

MASAKIT.THEY DON'T CARE.

KAYA FOR YOU CHRISTIAN YOUTH OUT THERE...MGA JESUS FREAK, PROVE THOSE OLDIES (OR YUNG PESSIMISTIC AT HINDI NAKAKATUWANG SPIRIT NA MERON SILA) THEY ARE WRONG.

I KNOW WE CAN ONLY STAY PURE BY GOD'S GRACE.

LET YOUR LIFE SHOW WHO'S IN CONTROL. REACH OUT...LET US NOT COMMIT THE SAME MISTAKES AGAIN.LET US MAKE JESUS SMILE.

DUMB CONVERSATION

What do you get from talking to an old lady with a fixed mind and an old maid who only believes what she is seeing?You get a DUMB CONVERSATION. I'm not saying that they are DUMB. what makes the whole thing DUMB was that their minds are closed and they are sold out in what they believe.

They won't listen. Perhaps, I can sense that they won't listen to what I will say, and the whole situation turned out to be that I'm the looser.

I don't know. Although they won't listen, I know in my heart that what the Bible says is true than believing the reality that's happening.

Sakit lang sa ulo. But I have to set my self free.

So, I rented 4 vcds to soothe my soul. Ayaw ko ng kausap pag galit ako.I may release anger sa makikinig.kawawa naman sila pag magkataon. Besides, sometimes I'm tired of myself hearing same old hang-ups again. thanks to techie...on the other hand, I need money.hehehe...

Reminders to Self...

Lorah, you need to be extra kulit.discern alibis, know your ground, demand what is good,YOUR AUTHORITY IS FROM AND THROUGH THE ONE WHO PLACED YOU THERE.

Don't easily be intimidated.Be intrinsically motivated by your Master.

Live Life eachday.Creatively.

Problems are ment to be solved and Prayed for.Not to think over.

Filter every info you receive.Strain through God's Word.

Be a Friend.But don't compromise what the TRUTH says.

Rest. Have time for your self.

Pray through.

Affirm.Look at the good of the people.

Manage your time. Sacrifice is inevitable.

Sabi ng mga ate, Take it easy...relax.

Be inlove to the One who promised and will always be faithful.

Lord...help.

I need Grace

I don't blame anybody...maybe for one...Myself.

I just feel so alone.

I'm with people but they seem so distant.

Or maybe its just me.

I don't know what to say.

I don't bother people who doesn't care...

I desire for people who love the Lord.

My inner circle are away...I don't know if I'm welcome to somebody's life.

I need grace. I need miracle.

smile...

Hahaha! Ang GALING!GALING!GALING! talaga ni God! He really knows how to make me smile.medyo na lessen ang stress ko. He is teaching me to wait,to live life and appreciate people who loves me. Thanks "mare" for being happy for me.hehehe...we need to celebrate!






magiging girl din ako someday...magkakaroon yun ng kaganapan.hahahaha!!!!

C.I.C.F. meeting

Please pray for wisdom,enthusiam and willingness to serve as we have our planning in our school fellowship.Campus Impact Christian Fellowship. Later at 7:30 pm til tommorow lunch time. Thanks!

On Forgiveness

Napaka buti ng Lord. Alam niya kung kailan lalabas ang alburuto ko, a.k.a. issues, He helps me get away with it gracefully.He loves me. And I am very much aware of what is happening to me. That time, I was so angry with him I resolve not to talk to him anymore. Besides, feeling ko lahat naman ng sasabihin nya kasinungalingan, and He may not consider me a friend in the first place. So, bakit ko sasayangin oras ko sa kanya? But I know in my heart that what I'm thinking was not right. I will be enslaved with my own selfish thoughts.Pero pinalipas muna ito ng Lord. He dealt with me last night until midnight in a gentle manner.

That moment time na naiinis ako,namasyal muna ako sa mall of Asia with group of new friends. I hope they continue to know the Lord. Then, between me and my God, I know I have to forgive. If not, maliit na lang ang tingin ko sa kanya-sa kanila. And that is bad for my health.

Besides,mahal ko ang Lord ko, i desire no one to hinder our relationship.Haay...May I continue to see people the way my Lord sees them.

How can you be?

How can you be a servant in the midst of glitze and glamour of fame?

please answer this...just wondering...

Monday Stress

Stressed na ako.Wala pa subjects available for a graduating like me.Pasaway kasi ang department.walang sistema..ayun,feeling ko, lalagnatin ako.haayyy...

aryt...hindi ko naman madadala ang subjects ko sa kabaong. so dapat, I learn to relax...

ok lorah, value people...bahala na ang subjects. Bahala na si God humampas sa pasaway na department.

On Love life and Obedience

THE GREATEST ADVICE

Don't date because you are desperate.

Don't marry because you are miserable.

Don't have kids because you think your genes are superior.

Don't philander because you think you are irresistible.

Don't associate with people you can't trust.

Don't cheat. Don't lie. Don't pretend.

Don't dictate because you are smarter.

Don't demand because you are stronger.

Don't sleep around because you think you are old enough and know better.

Don't hurt your kids because loving them is harder.

Don't sell yourself, your family, or your ideals.

Don't stagnate! Don't regress.

Don't live in the past.

Time can't bring anything or anyone back.

Don't put your life on hold for possibly Mr/Mrs Right.

Don't throw your life away on absolutely Mr Wrong because your biological clock is ticking.

Learn a new skill.Find a new friend.

Start a new career.

Sometimes, there is no race to be won.

Only a price to be paid for some of life's more hasty decisions.

To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the homeless.

To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy.

To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy.

Don't bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons.

To make yourself happy, pursue your passions and be the best of what you can be.

Simplify your life. Take away the clutter. Get rid of destructive elements: abusive friends, nasty habits, and dangerous liaisons.

Don't abandon your responsibilities but don't overdose on duty.

Don't live life recklessly without thought and feeling for your family.

Be true to yourself.

Don't commit when you are not ready.

Don't keep others waiting needlessly.

Go on that trip. Don't postpone it.

Say those words. Don't let the moment pass.

Do what you have to, even at society's scorn.

Write poetry. Love Deeply. Walk barefoot. Dance with wild abandon.

Cry at the movies. Take care of yourself.

Don't wait for someone to take care of you.

You light up your life.

You drive yourself to your destination. No one completes you - except YOU.

It is true that life does not get easier with age.

It only gets more challenging.

Don't be afraid. Don't lose your capacity to love.

Pursue your passions.

Live your dreams.

Don't lose faith in your God.

Don't grow old. Just grow YOU!

When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you'll never get back.

Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give someone is your time.

Relationships take time and effort, and the best way to spell love is T-I-M-E because the essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.

--Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life

Haha! I remember some people I know who are desperate to find a partner, or , another way around, married or already have kids at a very early age. This kind of news really makes my heart break.The Lord Jesus Christ prepared a LIFE for us, only if we loose our lives for Him. And having a married life is not the end point...its just a beginning of obeying God together.Besides, LIFE WORTH LIVING IS A LIFE LIVED FOR GOD. If we realize how much God gave and endured for us, we can't do anything but OBEY.Of course, everybody wants to end up in a happy ending. I have also seen people who waited for God, and had an abundant life. Not that they became rich or had romantic life together, but they have a life that seeks and obeys the Lord. Oh well, ‘nuff said. God bless us all.

***************

This was my reflections last year. Right now, my new reflection on lovelife is OBEDIENCE.Obedience not to the flesh but Obedience to God who directs the path of two people who loves Him and together would work out His plans. I thought this is freaky...hehehe...I'm not sure. But I like this kind of love story. I hope we would all learn this kind of obedience even in this portion of our lives. I thank the Lord for people who are close to my heart who did this. Accepting the love of their lives by obeying God. I have so much to learn.

Sprinkle of Grace

Yehey! I'm seeing sprinkle of grace this past few days. Thanking Him for His love and simple,meaningful gifts and Healing. I've experience once again torn in my flesh,I had pain in my lower back. I became paranoid thinking either it is a pelvic bone or kidney problem. The excruciating pain I've experienced is causing my back to arch, and its so awful I had to lay in bed. I never thought that this would be this painful because in the past I've been experiencing it but it just last for a while.But I'm experiencing the from June 5 until last tuesday.

I am convinced last tuesday that I needed check-up. Then started my worries. I texted people to pray for my health and am overwhelmed with their response.And for that, I'm grateful in the Lord for giving me people who cares and prayed and is praying for and with me.

My young nurse friends are so concerned on my health, so is my med close friends. I can say that they will be a good public servants someday because thay have a heart that cares. God bless them and I love them.

Also, our staff personally visited me that tuesday when I'm experiencing this pain.Her presence means a lot. She is my angel sent by God that time. She even went with us to the clinic for check up last wednesday. I had my urine and stool test,Blood chem and bone x-ray. The doc who checked on me is cute...hehehe...

Now, the results of the tests are ok. except for the bone x-ray that will be out next week. Meaning, the pain that I'm experiencing is due to my bones. This morning, Before I took the results of the tests, my prayer is that if they have found something wrong in me, may it be manageable to cure, I don't like bad news on my health. Because I'm also health conscious as my worship to God. To be ill because of my own doing is a sin. For He desires my body to be healthy and to do His will effectively and efficiently.

I hope to know what's wrong inside me. I hope there will be ways to minimize the pain I'm experiencing.

Confession: Our staff asked me if I cried because I'm sick and nanay is not beside me?

Answer: Yes I cried. But not because nanay is not around. Because I felt God's overwhelming presence in the midst of the extreme pain I am experiencing. Indeed, He is so close to the broken and crushed. He is so merciful, in suffering I found joy, because Jesus is with me. Praise be to our Lord Jesus who bore our sin,brokeness and frailty.

***thanks ate! for taking time knowing and checking out on me and knowing my deepest heart's desires. love you!***

Promises... Broken pROMISES...Pwe.

Grr...nababanas talaga ako kapag inaassure ako sa mga bagay na dapat mangyayari and in the end tataasan ka ng boses at sasabihin na hindi pwede. Pwe! Ang ayos ayos ng usapan tapos magkaka-gaguhan...sorry for the word. Yung bagay na hinihingi ko ay hindi malaki. And that thing that I am asking for is what I need. It is not a want. Ang capricho ko, hindi ko ginugulo magulang ko, pinaghihirapan ko yun. Naiinis lang ako sa feeling na kailangan ko magmakaawa. Sa Diyos lang ako humihingi ng awa. Kaya naiinis ako sa mga tao na feeling nila may utang na loob ako sa kanila.

*hingang malalim Lorah...hinga...

I'm home...

...and missing them. rest muna ako.

Summer Adventure Posts

summer adventure story coming soon!

Communion and Religiosity

Communion Sunday kanina sa Capiz Evangelical church. Hindi catch-y sa akin ang theme ng church about "SUCCESS". Ayaw ko kasi ang prosperity preaching. Jesus calls us the other way.The way of the cross. But thank God for people who are faithful to God's Word and delivered God's message to God's people the way He wanted it. The story is about Zaccheus.Jesus story with this little guy has also been my favorite. Praise God for new insights and affirmed reflections on Jesus' words,..."I came to seek and save which was lost." A lost thing for me is something that is primarily owned by someone and for some reasons was lost. It is valued, It would not called and considered "lost" if the owner would not bother to search for that thing. The speaker who was a woman and the Church missionary shared to us that this kind of being "lost" is the cause of sin that we lost our dignity as human,our capicity to reach to God is lost, our relationship to God, to other humans and God's creation is lost. (medyo mabigat na theology, but she just shared these reasons how lost are we) The message was really a WOW! Kakalasing. Amazing.

Then, Communion time. I'm not excited like this before. Sabik talaga ako magcommunion. Not that I feel so good before Him today, but I never felt this feeling before na sobrang excited and meaningful ang pagreremember sa body and blood of Jesus Christ.He is so good. 2 months ako hindi nakapagcommunion. Not that I'm pasaway,Nasa mga lugar lang ako kung saan ako nilead ng Lord. Apparently, Hindi ko naabutan ang makaattend sa church na may communion. And then yun nga, napaka Holy ang moment that time.I asked for forgiveness before our Lord before taking communion. What matters that time was that I am like a child na sobrang excited to have fellowship and meet her Father.

Then, kanina sa bahay, beside our apartment there's a catholic church.Lakas nga ng bell e. Medyo napasilip ako ano ginagawa ng mga tao,Tapos na ang misa.But i saw them praying.Pwede kong isipin na nag-e-SR sila (Spiritual Retreat), I'm humbled. They have reverence for the church.I pray may God grant their deepest desire, and that is, God would reveal Himself to them.Haha!Minsan dito palpak ang Protestants. Libangan manita ng church,Hindi na nakikita ang Diyos ng church.or nabublur lang sa kapalpakan ng kapatiran. Mahirap mag Unlearn minsan. I don't blame people who drifts away,Pero dapat bumalik rin sila sa stream.Stream of unity of the Body of Christ. But those who cause division sana mag-isipisip na.Bka ibang espiritu meron yun.hahaha!

sermon ko rin sa sarili ko ito.Galing talaga ni Lord. Tinuturuan pa rin Niya ako.

Before ang madugong Reflections...Usapang Angel muna.hehehe

Hindi ko pa tapos ang book review ko...Este, Reflections and Response sa book na bigay sa akin ni Pastor Rex. Kaya ito muna. Panggulo ng utak, thanksgiving as well.

Sumakay kami ng Cebu Pacific plane papunta dito sa Roxas. Infairness, ma-alog siya. Pasaway ako. Hindi ako nagchew ng gum. Naidlip lang ako. Pero iniimagine ko na punta na ako ng heaven...Sana diredirecho na.hahahah!Sarap pala ng feeling. At may naalala ako.Some eon years ago...

"Mag- aral ka na lang sa PATTS.Sama tayo."

" Ha?!? ok ka lang?!? ang cute-cute ko kaya para mag PATTS"- I laugh.

Ahahaha...asan na kaya yung taong yun? he really dreams of being a pilot someday. Kaya lang di na siya nagpaparamdam sa akin ngayon. Di pa kami nagkikita. Haay...i shoo him away. I didn't mean it. Hindi lang siya sanay sa akin.Kumusta na kaya siya? In fairness, he was my angel when I was to give up on myself and what I believe. He came to my life and made a difference, not by telling me what to do, but seeing the difference in his life by following his Lord. Ngayon, wala akong balita sa kanya. I hope to hear from him soon. I hope He still hold on.I hope He's still my angel. Nevertheless, I thank God for angels He provide whenever I feel alone, or am about to give up. In the new phase of my life,sino kaya ulit ang ibibigay ng Lord na "angel" ko? I also pray the good Lord continue to sustain the angels of my life.

Hope he reads this.ahahahah!

Punta kami ng "Baybay" mamaya...hope to see the sun sets sa dagat...

Broke and Broken

Dito na ako sa Capiz. Kasalukuyang nakatunganga sa bahay na nirent ni nanay. Nandun na ang mga gamit. Tumulong ako sa pag aayos ng ilang mga gamit, pero makalat pa rin.Kasi may mga gamit pa na si nanay ang dapat mag-ayos. Masaya ang bonding ko with my sibs. Food trip. Hanggang ngayon ay naloloka ra rin ako sa kapaligiran ko. Ang main city ay kaya ko libutin at lakarin. At isa pa, Walan magawa kasi we're broke. Si nanay, wala sa sarili nung bigyan kami ng pera.Aparently, yung pera na dapat baon namin ay nagastos sa Boarding Fee ng Cebu Pacific. Kumusta naman yun diba? Goodluck sa amin. Hindi pa kami iniwan ng pera ng tita ko nung isang araw.hehehe...no choice, kundi ang magbolahan kami sa bahay, at maghanap ng pwedeng pagkain na mapagtitripan. Kaya lang sa walang humpay na bonding namin, gusto parin ng soul ko to spend a time alone with my Maker...

May pasaway ako na kilala na nagcomment about sa Capiz.Sabi nya, hindi raw nababagay si Lorris sa Capiz.She can do greater things at wag raw sana maconfine sa Capiz. Low daw ang quality. Alam ko ang point nya. Pero naintindihan ko ang nanay ko. She is more conern sa character building than the skills that we will learn. Kaya siguro ayaw kami mag UP. hehehe...
So yun, back to the topic. Basically,that person does not know our case fully. Bahala siya sa buhay nya. Basta kami, sumusunod lang sa Panginoon.

Muli, I'm contemplating of being alone, pero when I'm seeing my sibs na masmapapabuti sila sa ganitong set up, I'm thankful and I'm turning ok. Lupit ng Lord ko. Ganito pala ang ibig sabihin na leaving my family and follow Him. E ang kaso, buong family kami ang magfollow sa Lord, kaya we will leave one another. hahaha!!!

Being broke and broken...bagong learning na naman ito. Sana maing worthwhile ang stay ko dito.May i go back home renewed,with new hopes and blessings.



***Thanks for praying for us. pray for us still. God bless you

dami ko na pwede STATEMENT ng T-shirt...hehehe

No One Can Bug me anymore...




'coz I'm DEAD.





Gets?!?

Ito muna...

Grabe...the Lord is moving through the prayers of His saints. The Lord is answering prayers and hearts desire kahit nakahibernate ako sa ministry na mahal ko. Hindi Nya ako kailangan. He is moving in the hearts of the people. I am just here to be faithful.

Kagabi hanggang kaninang 4:30am,(May 19-20) we had overnight prayer meeting. Talagang inordain ni God ang oras na iyon for us to pray kahit na majority namin ay wala sa hwistyo (tama ba spelling?). Marami kasing worries at mga kabusyhan. Effort talaga ang umattend. I'm the one who facilitated the prayer time. But i also asked for assistance kay kuya alvin and ka Lolit to facilitate the prayer meeting. Umpisa pa lang, I am intimidated by the enemy. ang likod ko parang kinokoryente,tulala at hindi ko feel ang preparations. But still, He is faithful and merciful. Hindi Nya hahayaan mahumiliate Name nya. I asked for forgiveness. I'm still willing to be used by my Lord. Feelings ko lang nagbabago, pero buo na ang loob ko na maglingkod.

Some people in the groups are testing my patience. I asked God to give me extra grace to extend to them. "Kinakayanan lang nila ako kasi bata ako..." kaya go lang. I'm doing this for the Lord. I'm focusing my attention sa mga taong willing makinig.

Basta...so may mga ganung drama. What blessed me was when I have the chance makipagkwentuhan sa ibang youth (highschoolers) in between prayer times and see how God is moving in their lives. Sabi ng isang nakausap ko, "ate, tinatanong ako ng ibang kaibigan ko bakit pa ako nagsisimba dito, ano raw ang mapapala ko dito? sabi ko, marami ako natutunan dito at nasa mabuti akong kamay kaya wala ako nakikitang masama na nandito ako..."
waaaah!!! I'm so humbled and amazed. Ang Diyos ang may gawa nun!!! hibernate ako sa youth ministry nitong mga nakaraang buwan kasi wala ako naririnig na feedback kung gusto o ayaw ng youth fellowship. Kanina rin...ang ibang youth ay humihiling na mag youth camp kami!!!! TODO na ito! this is exactly what i want to happen.grabe! ansaya.

Nung malapit na matapos ang Prayer time, tinuruan namin sila ng song na may blending, yung " You are Holy" medyo malabo ang pagkakasulat ng lyrics sa acetate para sa projector, kaya ang mga oldies ay nag-jijinarte na hindi nila mabasa. I understand na hindi nila mabasa and i apologize for that.Technical error yun,pero kailangan bang paulit-ulit na sabihin na hindi mabasa? I saw a smile on nanay's face nung kinanta na namin ang song, in the midst ng reklamo ng ibang nanay. Natuwa siya sa essence and meaning ng song na winoworship si God in different names. Tanggal lahat ng inis ko sa mga mareklamo. Nung nakita ko nanay ko na nakangiti sa akin means na may saysay ginagawa ko...what more pa kaya ang Father? I long to see Him pleased with me. haayy..

Victorious ang Panginoon that night. I just pray na maging sensitive ang ibang anak ng Diyos sa leading ng Holy Spirit at bawas-bawasan ang reklamo at sobrang salita. Sometimes, God desires His children to shut up and listen.

Marami pang kwento...ito muna.

Re-Learning

I'm re-learning to....
...Trust
...be gracious
...be patient
...persevere
...Endure
... pray fervently
...Sacrifice
...Love
...focus on Christ alone.
...SURRENDER

I desire You my Master. Reign in me.

Blessed Be...

The Lord giveth...The Lord taketh away...Blessed be the name of the Lord!

Iniwan na naman ako ng isang angel sa buhay ko.

Aalis na silang lahat.

Ganito talaga buhay, need to get over this.

Kapag may dumadating, sabay-sabay..pag may aalis, alis silang lahat.

It makes me human.Teaches me to trust Him more.

I love you Lord! thank you for giving me angels...wala po ako reklamo if you will take them away. You are my Lord.

Hope to see you again Bebem...I love you.

You don't deserve this...

Missin you so much...You don't deserve what you are experiencing right now. I love you...hoping for your quick healing, of the body and soul.

Centre of My Life

Centre of My Life
From Hillsong London "Shout God's Fame"

Let my walk speak loud, and my words be true
Let my life be whole, with my eyes on You.
Lord I'm stepping out, from the comfort zone
Letting go of me, holding on to You

Freedom comes, when I call You Lord
You are Lord, my God!

You are the centre of it all
The universe declares in awe
Your majesty, I surrender all
I make You centre of my life
Lord I respond with all I am
You placed in me the song of heaven's melody
Your majesty, I live to sing Your song

I have found Your peace, it replaces any fear
You have done it all, I can trust in You.
Lord I'm stepping out, from the comfort zone
Letting go of me, holding on to You

This is your song,that brings healing to this land
This is your song, not mine
It is Your song, that brings freedom

This is my song of the moment...grabe talaga ang Lord.Pinapatulan ako sa mga panalangin ko na alam ko mahirap...But what can I do? my heart and the Spirit of the Lord helps me to utter these kinds of prayer. Inaalis nya ako sa comfort zone. nakakatakot. Grabe bunuan sa panalangin...but I really love my Lord kahit marami ako shortcomings...May He continue to be with me. Days from now, my family will be away from me.After 20 years of existence, akala ko gradual ako ihihiwalay ng Lord sa family ko, eto ako...nagpapakatapang, but the Lord knows what's in my heart. He is training me to be away from my comforts and fully trust in Him. Yes, i must learn to trust. Parang akong isang bata na nasa gutter lang lagi ng swimming pool when daddy is telling me to let go and swim with Him. I still worship Him in what He is doing to my life and in my brokenness...

What happened to me?

I got this short reflection from a friend from her blog.

SOWING WITH TEARS Is what I'm doing right now. Though I scatter the seed while weeping, I believe in the harvest.

I was doing this before. What happened to me? i allowed my hurt to subdue me...I should re-learn this thing once again. Only through bended knees we can draw people in the Lord. This is not an easy thing to do. In fact,it hurts. Through hurts and pruning from Him and in the ministry can I can grow and be a tree that is planted in the waters and bears fruit.

Focus dear...you have so many things to do. But rest in God's care. You are loved.

Pwede Naman

Pwede Naman
Pwede namang ayawan na
Pwede namang wala nang pakialamanan
Pwede naming magbingi-bingihan
Sa mga bagay na dapat pakinggan.
Pwede naming magpasaway at bumalik sa dating buhay na walang gumagabay
Pwede naman…pwede naman

Ngunit pinili ko ang manatili
Tahakin ang landas na hindi kaakit-akit
Pinili ko ang maglingkod at magmahal
Sapagkat minsan nang naranasan ang pag-ibig na wagas
Mahirap. Hindi madali, ang panindigan ang pinili.
Ngunit…ngunit
Buhay na walang hanggan at pag-ibig na
Nagdulot ng kamatayan sa aking Panginoon
Hindi mapigilan ang mapaluha at mag-isip.


Pwede naming hindi tanggapin
Ang pag-ibig na alay sa akin
Pwede naming ayawan na sa
hirap naKatapat sa pagsunod sa daan ng tunay na buhay.
Pwede naman…Pwede naman.

Ngunit pinili kong manatili
Bigyang lugod at ngiti sa labi
Ang Diyos na nagbigay buhay sa akin
Pwede rin naming manatili sa Kanyang pag-ibig
At magpatuloy sa landas na dapat tahakin.