Before ang madugong Reflections...Usapang Angel muna.hehehe

Hindi ko pa tapos ang book review ko...Este, Reflections and Response sa book na bigay sa akin ni Pastor Rex. Kaya ito muna. Panggulo ng utak, thanksgiving as well.

Sumakay kami ng Cebu Pacific plane papunta dito sa Roxas. Infairness, ma-alog siya. Pasaway ako. Hindi ako nagchew ng gum. Naidlip lang ako. Pero iniimagine ko na punta na ako ng heaven...Sana diredirecho na.hahahah!Sarap pala ng feeling. At may naalala ako.Some eon years ago...

"Mag- aral ka na lang sa PATTS.Sama tayo."

" Ha?!? ok ka lang?!? ang cute-cute ko kaya para mag PATTS"- I laugh.

Ahahaha...asan na kaya yung taong yun? he really dreams of being a pilot someday. Kaya lang di na siya nagpaparamdam sa akin ngayon. Di pa kami nagkikita. Haay...i shoo him away. I didn't mean it. Hindi lang siya sanay sa akin.Kumusta na kaya siya? In fairness, he was my angel when I was to give up on myself and what I believe. He came to my life and made a difference, not by telling me what to do, but seeing the difference in his life by following his Lord. Ngayon, wala akong balita sa kanya. I hope to hear from him soon. I hope He still hold on.I hope He's still my angel. Nevertheless, I thank God for angels He provide whenever I feel alone, or am about to give up. In the new phase of my life,sino kaya ulit ang ibibigay ng Lord na "angel" ko? I also pray the good Lord continue to sustain the angels of my life.

Hope he reads this.ahahahah!

Punta kami ng "Baybay" mamaya...hope to see the sun sets sa dagat...

Broke and Broken

Dito na ako sa Capiz. Kasalukuyang nakatunganga sa bahay na nirent ni nanay. Nandun na ang mga gamit. Tumulong ako sa pag aayos ng ilang mga gamit, pero makalat pa rin.Kasi may mga gamit pa na si nanay ang dapat mag-ayos. Masaya ang bonding ko with my sibs. Food trip. Hanggang ngayon ay naloloka ra rin ako sa kapaligiran ko. Ang main city ay kaya ko libutin at lakarin. At isa pa, Walan magawa kasi we're broke. Si nanay, wala sa sarili nung bigyan kami ng pera.Aparently, yung pera na dapat baon namin ay nagastos sa Boarding Fee ng Cebu Pacific. Kumusta naman yun diba? Goodluck sa amin. Hindi pa kami iniwan ng pera ng tita ko nung isang araw.hehehe...no choice, kundi ang magbolahan kami sa bahay, at maghanap ng pwedeng pagkain na mapagtitripan. Kaya lang sa walang humpay na bonding namin, gusto parin ng soul ko to spend a time alone with my Maker...

May pasaway ako na kilala na nagcomment about sa Capiz.Sabi nya, hindi raw nababagay si Lorris sa Capiz.She can do greater things at wag raw sana maconfine sa Capiz. Low daw ang quality. Alam ko ang point nya. Pero naintindihan ko ang nanay ko. She is more conern sa character building than the skills that we will learn. Kaya siguro ayaw kami mag UP. hehehe...
So yun, back to the topic. Basically,that person does not know our case fully. Bahala siya sa buhay nya. Basta kami, sumusunod lang sa Panginoon.

Muli, I'm contemplating of being alone, pero when I'm seeing my sibs na masmapapabuti sila sa ganitong set up, I'm thankful and I'm turning ok. Lupit ng Lord ko. Ganito pala ang ibig sabihin na leaving my family and follow Him. E ang kaso, buong family kami ang magfollow sa Lord, kaya we will leave one another. hahaha!!!

Being broke and broken...bagong learning na naman ito. Sana maing worthwhile ang stay ko dito.May i go back home renewed,with new hopes and blessings.



***Thanks for praying for us. pray for us still. God bless you

dami ko na pwede STATEMENT ng T-shirt...hehehe

No One Can Bug me anymore...




'coz I'm DEAD.





Gets?!?

Ito muna...

Grabe...the Lord is moving through the prayers of His saints. The Lord is answering prayers and hearts desire kahit nakahibernate ako sa ministry na mahal ko. Hindi Nya ako kailangan. He is moving in the hearts of the people. I am just here to be faithful.

Kagabi hanggang kaninang 4:30am,(May 19-20) we had overnight prayer meeting. Talagang inordain ni God ang oras na iyon for us to pray kahit na majority namin ay wala sa hwistyo (tama ba spelling?). Marami kasing worries at mga kabusyhan. Effort talaga ang umattend. I'm the one who facilitated the prayer time. But i also asked for assistance kay kuya alvin and ka Lolit to facilitate the prayer meeting. Umpisa pa lang, I am intimidated by the enemy. ang likod ko parang kinokoryente,tulala at hindi ko feel ang preparations. But still, He is faithful and merciful. Hindi Nya hahayaan mahumiliate Name nya. I asked for forgiveness. I'm still willing to be used by my Lord. Feelings ko lang nagbabago, pero buo na ang loob ko na maglingkod.

Some people in the groups are testing my patience. I asked God to give me extra grace to extend to them. "Kinakayanan lang nila ako kasi bata ako..." kaya go lang. I'm doing this for the Lord. I'm focusing my attention sa mga taong willing makinig.

Basta...so may mga ganung drama. What blessed me was when I have the chance makipagkwentuhan sa ibang youth (highschoolers) in between prayer times and see how God is moving in their lives. Sabi ng isang nakausap ko, "ate, tinatanong ako ng ibang kaibigan ko bakit pa ako nagsisimba dito, ano raw ang mapapala ko dito? sabi ko, marami ako natutunan dito at nasa mabuti akong kamay kaya wala ako nakikitang masama na nandito ako..."
waaaah!!! I'm so humbled and amazed. Ang Diyos ang may gawa nun!!! hibernate ako sa youth ministry nitong mga nakaraang buwan kasi wala ako naririnig na feedback kung gusto o ayaw ng youth fellowship. Kanina rin...ang ibang youth ay humihiling na mag youth camp kami!!!! TODO na ito! this is exactly what i want to happen.grabe! ansaya.

Nung malapit na matapos ang Prayer time, tinuruan namin sila ng song na may blending, yung " You are Holy" medyo malabo ang pagkakasulat ng lyrics sa acetate para sa projector, kaya ang mga oldies ay nag-jijinarte na hindi nila mabasa. I understand na hindi nila mabasa and i apologize for that.Technical error yun,pero kailangan bang paulit-ulit na sabihin na hindi mabasa? I saw a smile on nanay's face nung kinanta na namin ang song, in the midst ng reklamo ng ibang nanay. Natuwa siya sa essence and meaning ng song na winoworship si God in different names. Tanggal lahat ng inis ko sa mga mareklamo. Nung nakita ko nanay ko na nakangiti sa akin means na may saysay ginagawa ko...what more pa kaya ang Father? I long to see Him pleased with me. haayy..

Victorious ang Panginoon that night. I just pray na maging sensitive ang ibang anak ng Diyos sa leading ng Holy Spirit at bawas-bawasan ang reklamo at sobrang salita. Sometimes, God desires His children to shut up and listen.

Marami pang kwento...ito muna.

Re-Learning

I'm re-learning to....
...Trust
...be gracious
...be patient
...persevere
...Endure
... pray fervently
...Sacrifice
...Love
...focus on Christ alone.
...SURRENDER

I desire You my Master. Reign in me.

Blessed Be...

The Lord giveth...The Lord taketh away...Blessed be the name of the Lord!

Iniwan na naman ako ng isang angel sa buhay ko.

Aalis na silang lahat.

Ganito talaga buhay, need to get over this.

Kapag may dumadating, sabay-sabay..pag may aalis, alis silang lahat.

It makes me human.Teaches me to trust Him more.

I love you Lord! thank you for giving me angels...wala po ako reklamo if you will take them away. You are my Lord.

Hope to see you again Bebem...I love you.

You don't deserve this...

Missin you so much...You don't deserve what you are experiencing right now. I love you...hoping for your quick healing, of the body and soul.

Centre of My Life

Centre of My Life
From Hillsong London "Shout God's Fame"

Let my walk speak loud, and my words be true
Let my life be whole, with my eyes on You.
Lord I'm stepping out, from the comfort zone
Letting go of me, holding on to You

Freedom comes, when I call You Lord
You are Lord, my God!

You are the centre of it all
The universe declares in awe
Your majesty, I surrender all
I make You centre of my life
Lord I respond with all I am
You placed in me the song of heaven's melody
Your majesty, I live to sing Your song

I have found Your peace, it replaces any fear
You have done it all, I can trust in You.
Lord I'm stepping out, from the comfort zone
Letting go of me, holding on to You

This is your song,that brings healing to this land
This is your song, not mine
It is Your song, that brings freedom

This is my song of the moment...grabe talaga ang Lord.Pinapatulan ako sa mga panalangin ko na alam ko mahirap...But what can I do? my heart and the Spirit of the Lord helps me to utter these kinds of prayer. Inaalis nya ako sa comfort zone. nakakatakot. Grabe bunuan sa panalangin...but I really love my Lord kahit marami ako shortcomings...May He continue to be with me. Days from now, my family will be away from me.After 20 years of existence, akala ko gradual ako ihihiwalay ng Lord sa family ko, eto ako...nagpapakatapang, but the Lord knows what's in my heart. He is training me to be away from my comforts and fully trust in Him. Yes, i must learn to trust. Parang akong isang bata na nasa gutter lang lagi ng swimming pool when daddy is telling me to let go and swim with Him. I still worship Him in what He is doing to my life and in my brokenness...

What happened to me?

I got this short reflection from a friend from her blog.

SOWING WITH TEARS Is what I'm doing right now. Though I scatter the seed while weeping, I believe in the harvest.

I was doing this before. What happened to me? i allowed my hurt to subdue me...I should re-learn this thing once again. Only through bended knees we can draw people in the Lord. This is not an easy thing to do. In fact,it hurts. Through hurts and pruning from Him and in the ministry can I can grow and be a tree that is planted in the waters and bears fruit.

Focus dear...you have so many things to do. But rest in God's care. You are loved.

Pwede Naman

Pwede Naman
Pwede namang ayawan na
Pwede namang wala nang pakialamanan
Pwede naming magbingi-bingihan
Sa mga bagay na dapat pakinggan.
Pwede naming magpasaway at bumalik sa dating buhay na walang gumagabay
Pwede naman…pwede naman

Ngunit pinili ko ang manatili
Tahakin ang landas na hindi kaakit-akit
Pinili ko ang maglingkod at magmahal
Sapagkat minsan nang naranasan ang pag-ibig na wagas
Mahirap. Hindi madali, ang panindigan ang pinili.
Ngunit…ngunit
Buhay na walang hanggan at pag-ibig na
Nagdulot ng kamatayan sa aking Panginoon
Hindi mapigilan ang mapaluha at mag-isip.


Pwede naming hindi tanggapin
Ang pag-ibig na alay sa akin
Pwede naming ayawan na sa
hirap naKatapat sa pagsunod sa daan ng tunay na buhay.
Pwede naman…Pwede naman.

Ngunit pinili kong manatili
Bigyang lugod at ngiti sa labi
Ang Diyos na nagbigay buhay sa akin
Pwede rin naming manatili sa Kanyang pag-ibig
At magpatuloy sa landas na dapat tahakin.