Tapos na ang Draft!

Haaay Lord....Marami salamat po...natapos ko na ang draft assignment ko for thesis. Wish ko lang, next time, walang makisawsaw na problem sa akin. Sakit sa ulo. Grrr....

MY PRESS RELEASE ABOUT MY FAMILY

Ang mapalayo sa pamilya ko ay mahirap. Pero ang nangyari sa amin ay isang step of faith.Hindi ko alam ang purpose ng Panginoon, but as I understand the situation, It is due to Economic and Safety reasons for my siblings. Dagdag na rin ang kadahilanang gusto ng aking mga magulang ang mag settle down sa probinsya some day kapag nag retire na sila.
Nagpaalam naman ng maayos ang aking ina sa kanilang pagprepare sa pag alis. Mahirap iyon, ngunit ang calling ng aking ina,more than anything else ay ang paglingkuran ang Panginoon through her family. Major change nga lang dahil tinawag sila ng Panginoon sa probinsya ng Capiz.
Alam ko po marami ang nahirapan nang umalis ang aking pamilya especially ang aking ina. Ngunit sana maluwag sa inyong puso ang i-bless sila at maging happy sa kanilang choice. This is learning to let go and praise the Lord kasi nakilala nyo ang aking nanay.
Sa aking simbahan na natutunan mahalin at na attach sa nanay ko, it is time to learn to let go. As you miss my family, say a little prayer for them. Ang kulitin ako kung kailan sila uuwi ay nakakadagdag sa pagpapahirap sa aking loob (stress) because more than anybody else, ako ang nasasaktan, but I have to let go. MAGFUFUNCTION ANG SIMBAHAN KAHIT WALA ANG NANAY KO. TINUTURUAN LANG TAYO NG PANGINOON NA UMALIS SA COMFORT ZONE. NAGING COMFORTABLE KASI NUNG NANDYAN ANG NANAY KO. (minsan, naiisip ko rin na sisihin ang nanay ko na hinayaang sobrang maattched ang mga tao na minsan hirap na magpatuloy dahil umalis na siya.) HINDI PO MESSIAH ANG NANAY KO. NYAY! Nakakatakot. LET US LEARN TO TRUST GOD AND THANK HIM FOR BRINGING PEOPLE IN OUR LIVES, PERO ANG MAATTACHED SA TAONG BINIGAY NG DIYOS MORE THAN JESUS AY NAKAKATAKOT NA SITUATION.LET US NOT PUT A PERSON SA PEDESTAL, KASI BAKA MAG FALL SIYA, DI RIN NATIN KAYANIN. LET US LEARN TO TRUST GOD MORE THAN PEOPLE.
LET US BE SENSITIVE SA MGA FEELINGS NG IBANG TAO. HINDI YUNG IPIPILIT LANG NATIN ANG GUSTO NATIN. WE CAN SUGGEST, PERO ANG SUBTLE MANIPULATION AY HINDI MAGANDA.
WE CANNOT KEEP A PERSON FOREVER. PEOPLE COME AND GO. WHAT IS OUR RESPONSE? THANKFUL HEART? SUPPORT? OR SELFISHNESS?
HELP US.PRAY FOR US.
MARAMING SALAMAT PO.

3 Noble Men in 3 Weeks

I'm so honored to have a quality time with these noble men in a span of 3 weeks. The Lord is the only one who made this possible.
So I should say I had a Pseudo-love life for this month of August. I believe love naman ako ng mga guys whom I am talking about. Hehehe...
First is Karl. After a whole ngarag friday of August 11, He paid PCU a visit. Since we are bonded in the wonder of KC, He is so welcome sa fellowship. Kaya lang nagsiuwian na ang mga CICF, Nagkwentuhan na lang kami sa Boracay (place sa PCU)With Thea and mga namamasyal at pakalat-kalat na CICF. Ayaw magreply ni Sherry, kaya tuloy, kami na lang nagkwentuhan.Muntik na nya ako mapaiyak...hehehe...
Second is Paolo.After the Freshmen Treat, Last August 22, Tatawid na sana ako sa Tandang Sora para umuwi, i felt someone tapping my back. Pambihira, si Paolo-KC mate once again ang nakita ko. Goodlak naman sa amin at mag usap sa kalye, syempre, hindi ko matitiis na kabatian ko lang ang KC mate ko sa kalye. Kaya yun,we ate sa chowking and kwentuhan ng mga Ups and Downs.
Third and a gift to me is my TATAY! He fetched me at Cosmopolitan Church in Taft Avenue and we had a date in Pizza Hut Delta. Nakasandal ako sa chest ni tatay habang nasa byahe at na sa likod ng FX. I'm cherishing the moments to be secured with my tatay. Medyo naluha ako kasi I know, He will not stay for long. We are just enjoying and making the most out of our time.
During those times, I am physically tired, I guess also emotionally. Being with them is God's incentives to me.Hehehe...nah, It's God's way of showing me that He cares. As I see their lives,I see imperfection but I'm also seeing men striving to rise above the challenges and acknowledging that the strength that they have is all by God's mercy and grace.
I thank the Lord for these men.
Lord, please rise more Godly men in my sight. Ayaw ko po ng sorority. hehehe...
I love you guys!
I love you tatay.
Ingat kayo lagi.

Thanks sisters!

After a week of nakakabangang, nakakapraning na buong isang linggo...

Thank you sisters for teaching to SMILE, TO LAUGH AND TO ENJOY LIFE ONCE AGAIN.

PANALO KAYO. LOVE YOU!!!

I NEED REST

I need a guilt- free, all day in bed,music tripping Day off...












So Help me God.





Or else I'LL be dead in few months.

Need 2 Groups

Haay Lord,
Two more to go...I need two groups where I can grow in an another phase. I hope You will open and lead me to a Christian group of artists, preferably painters and be with them and learn through them and Paint with all my heart as I see the beauty of Your creation.
Second, I want to join a dance group where I can learn interpretative dancing and worship You with all that I have.
Right now, I 'm thankful where you placed me. I'M LEARNING A LOT. Through IVCF, I'm learning servant-leadership, CICF- Application of the trainings I have, Haribon Foundation - I'm learning and appreciating Your Creation and how to protect it, I'm also welcome in Onesimo foundation where I have also group of ladies who are growing in grace in You.
NYMM. Thank you! after two years of waiting to be a part of this movement, you placed me here and partnering with "bigating" mobilizers.Hehehe...
I'm so thankful I meet different kinds of people and groups. Someday, You will lead me where I am most needed and where I will adequately grow.
Thank You. I know You'll answer me in Your time. Amen.

Science and Bible

I affirm my teacher during my 4th year highschool. During our World History Class, he added to his lecture the consistency of the Bible in its contribution in documenting history of kings and kingdoms who captured Israel, apparently, are the mighty kingdoms during their times.

Also, I have watched a documentary film that presented the Bible facts and its consistency with science. It is so amazing that my faith which is anchored in the Truth (the Bible) is being affirmed by science and not the way around.

Although many scientists are said to be 'atheist' and keep on insisting that there is no God, they can't refute the reality of God's creation. My friends who loves God and is scientifically inclined (and soon they will be an excellent scientists and medical doctors) is always in awe whenever they come across a subject and science can't explain how it happened and it is intricately created, for example, the complexities of human brain and body. And it is so impossible that it is just 'evolved' by itself.

In my field of psychology, which is the study of human behavior (but I like sociology better...hehehe) theorists just mixed and evolve and created scientific terms on human behavior and emotions, which is from the start has been a constant reminder to us from God to "...guard our heart, for it is a well-spring of life." God knew better.

Psychology in its expertise aims to understand and to a wider extent, desires to treat a person as he is having an emotional or mental problem. But Jesus offers healing and freedom from the things that enslave a person. Because He is the Truth and the Life, also, the Only Way.

It is funny for other people to think that they know better when they have knowledge in science and that they doesn't need God. Others seem to believe in God, but they are so full of themselves and subtlely may think they are god and have things their own way because sometimes, if one has knowledge in science, he has the capacity to manipulate things.

After all, at the end of our road, we are still under God's mercy. What do we have to boast? Me, I just enjoy the learnings I acquire and always remind myself that Truth and all these learnings I awe to my Master. Enjoy life, cherish and value people. If I know everything in this world but does not know how to love, LIFE IS BORING.

Learning To Pray more

A blessed Birthday to my Cousin- Reynalie Motin!

Pupunta ako sa kanila mamaya. Baka dun na rin ako matulog.

Kahapon, I can sense na wala sa mood ang sangkatauhan para magkitakita at mag business meeting. Personally, ako naman, parang malalaglag ang puso ko sa eekie feeling. Basta, hindi ko madescribe. Not to mention yung feeling ko na I'm so vulnerable that time. Hindi ko kakayanin if may problem na magshare sa akin. Kasi ako nga, gusto ng makakausap, Mahihingahan. Pero after the short meeting, Victorious ang Lord. Salamat sa Worship time namin sa Lord at pagcoclose ni Echo sa panalangin, I felt better. God's peace enveloped me.

I dropped by sa SM. Hehehe...feeling ko may isang malaking invisible glass ang nakashelter sa akin.Feeling ko rin lutang ako.

Lakad ang drama ko.nakakapagod din. Kaya lang nung last part na, nung naghihintay na ako ng jeep para one ride pauwi, 45 minutes- 1hour yata ako nag intay. Sa king pag-iintay, The Lord prompted me to pray all kinds of prayer...hehehe..then poof! dumating na yung jeep.

I just remember my prayer last time. I asked Him to level up my prayer life. Haay... I have so much to learn.

Ayun, thank God for rest ngayon. Kahit feeling ko vulnerable pa rin ako.

Thank God for His promises...I'm learning to claim it na.

Haay...I need to talk to kindred spirits ulit. But every body seems so busy.

Astig na Pinsan and Some rants

Kanina, After lunch and after church, Cousin ko, si Rin-Rin ay naglambing sa akin na mag ARTS raw kami, I asked her what kind? sabi nya kahit ano raw. Kaya, nilatag ko ang wonder banig, nilabas ang mga art raw materials. She made a birthday card na unique at maganda, while I'm trying to finish my papier mache. Grabe, talented ng pinsan ko, She's so good in playing guitar, Drawing at ang panalo sa lahat ay ang pagiging tahimik nya. She can be with you for hours na walang reaction o salita. That doesn't bothered me. inggit nga ako sa kanya , meron siyang ganung reputation. Di tulad sa akin may expectation mag salita, at kapag nagsalita naman ako, mamimiss-interpret. Hahaha! Ironic talaga.

Tumawag si nanay kanina, wala lang akong ganang kausapin siya kasi pera na naman ang topic. I'M SO SICK ABOUT MONEY MATTERS. Iba na talaga ang dating kapag pera na ang pinag-uusapan. Parang mas importante ang magtipid kaysa ang kamustahin ako.(Haha! magdrama daw ba?!?) Oh well, the brighter side of my situation now is I'm learning to pray intelligently for my family kasi wala akong magawa sa situation namin. Ang disadvantage, Hindi ako makapagshare sa phone. I'd rather listen sa mga kwento kaysa ako ang nagkukwento. I just feel that the other party is not interested to my story. Rather, It's just me. Hindi ko lang talaga feel magkwento over the phone. Kahit nga sa tatay ko.

Days that passed, same pa din ang nararamdaman ko. I just thank the Lord sinasamahan nya talaga ako. He keeps me sane.Still experiencing the dose of my weird prayers.

May toyo ako kanina, I admit. I can tolerate some mistakes, But I guess kapag ang mistake na na commit ng tao ay opposed sa values na mayroon ako, I find it hard to to forgive. I am learning and understanding myself sa phase na ito ng buhay ko. I know should not be like this. Kasi there will be more and more people who will hurt me. I will not let it happen.

I can not disciple all. But I'm praying for 4 high school girls na pwede kong idisciple. Yung potential. At higit sa lahat, yung marunong makinig.

I am telling Pastor kanina na it is interesting to research on (and find?) guys who grew to manhood with an exceptional, if not good character , even if they grew up without a father. Kasi naman, we all know Fathers have crucial role in a child's life. And we say in fact or in theory na kaya nagiging bading o barumbado ang isang lalaki because wala siyang Ama.

I know a good guy-friend of mine na bata pa lang, wala na siyang Ama, napatay(?) But as I observe him, He is one of the gentlemen I know existing.Hehehe...I need to know others pa.

Which reminds me, I want to research on youth culture. Sana research ang work ko after I graduate.

Hmm... these are my rants for today.I'm missing my siblings so much.

ThE Calling (?!?)

I Just realized, nung bagong Christian ako, or nung 1st time ko magdesire na lumago sa Panginoon, I asked for His Will...ahem, ahem, this is not the usual context ng "God's will" on waiting or looking for future partners, But to really know God's will in my life. Alam ko na nga ba? But in my present state, I can say na nalaman ko na, and that is to fall in love with my Savior each day.

Ngayon naman, level up na ba ito? I'm asking my Lord what is His calling for me after college life? I learned from mentors, mga ate sa pananampalataya,na ang Calling ng Lord may alter. Basta, gets ko sila. Dati yung fear ko sa calling ay baka ipadala ako ng Lord sa lugar na hindi ko feel, or hindi ako competent, pero magaling ang Lord. Hindi naman siya berdugo at sadista na ipipilit ang mga bagay na "hindi ko feel" hinuhubog Niya ang puso ko ayon sa nais nya. which is beautiful.

But my problem now, which also freaks me out is ang mga doubts. No question na mahal ko ang mga ginagawa ko, But what if what I'm doing and giving is not enough? Feeling ko magiging palpak ako.

Minsan na-vavibes ko na sobrang laking expectations ng mga tao sa akin, e escape artist ang inyong lingkod, kaya minsan gusto ko na lang maglaho. Kaya minsan ayaw ko magvolunteer (but if i-vovolunteer ako ng iba, ok lang..hehehe) kasi baka hindi ko kayang panindigan.

Buti na lang at the end of the day, gusto ng Lord ko na maging Anak lang Niya ako in His presence. Walang credentials,positions, etc. Just a child in His arms.

So, sa lahat ng pinasilip ng Lord na doors sa akin, saan nya kaya ako papapasukin after I graduate? And I pray na I'll graduate gracefully.

Thank you Lord!

May exams pa ako bukas.