I lived a life so un-secure. Not to mention insecurity. I developed in my psyche the attitude to be strong for the longest of time. Other people under estimates me, or just "concerned" with my health condition.
I didn't like it.
I wanted a secure life, full of life and love. A place where I can be me and develop my strengths and attributes to the fullest. I want a life of A D V E N T U R E !!!!
Yet, I'm still here. Waiting. Wrestling with God. Having a fist fight over my comfort zones.- My emotions, mind and will are in constant struggle for the Lordship of Jesus Christ which was offered years ago.
With discipline to be still. It was impressed upon my heart, that I am small. I am but a speck of dust. All along my plans I thought was grand. But still, since it came from me...it is still small.
Then one day, I prayed what I believe, a "Dangerous Prayer".
"Lord, my dreams are small. I'm tired of having things my way. Take it, its Yours..."
The will followed. Or at least, I believe my psyche followed that declaration. I am still haggling my case to God, but now I believe I prayed a dangerous prayer. May He grant me the grace to let go of the temporary and embrace His Lordship and see in the eyes of faith what is in store for me.
I'm tired of being pissed off by people. I guess I can see their hearts. Their hearts mirrors mine. I want my heart will mirror my Lover, my Creator-- Jesus Christ. Let peace reign in my heart. I want to rise on higher ground.
I want to love unconditionally as my Lover did.
I want to live dangerously.
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