In Honor of him Who Led me to Him

There is a battle within me lately. No, I'm not desperate, but I am highly frustrated with the supposed to be first man in my life. To make the long list frustrations short, I am in the verge of quitting when it comes to him. I don't need to elaborate his short comings, but for those who know me personally, you can guess why am I frustrated with the guy.

As I write all my rants to my Maker, he made me realize that I owe my spiritual renewal from a guy friend. A  man. I was challenged on how intimate he is to his God. We were both leaders in our respective churches, yet I saw how contented and happy he were in serving. Whereas, I am putting up a show. I am miserable inside.

I admire this friend of mine. He saw the beauty I don't see in me. He would call me up everyday asking me how I am and sharing how good is his God in his life . I envy him. I admire him for the quality of relationship he has with God. I covet that kind of relationship. 

After months of seeking, I found Him. His unfailing love that transforms me. When people wants the best of me, Jesus Christ wants my all- the beauty and ugliness in me. He wants it. From that time on, I was never the same again.

As for my friend, his life that led me to have real LIFE. I learned to love him. I guess, he loved me too (*blush*) yet, that time was not a season for us to be together. We were 14 years old back then. Now I am in my mid 20's, I still have not meet him. I hope to meet him. I don't know if he is already married. I just hope the Life that he shared to me is still the Life that he is living in this challenging times.

I thank God for glimpses. I felt loved and met a guy who loves the Lord more than me. Thinking right now, my God is indeed a jealous God. He wants me all to Himself. He is the author of Love. I am secure of His love and that His timing is best. Just like the song says, Waiting for a thousand years. I am not waiting for my guy friend. I am waiting for the time when all my heart's desires will be answered. I am waiting for the time Jesus will wipe my tears, and he would only allow tears of joy. I am simply waiting on my First Love-- Jesus Christ. In Him I have my being.

To you, you know who you are. Thank you.  Declaring God's best blessing in your life. :)