Thanks sisters!

After a week of nakakabangang, nakakapraning na buong isang linggo...

Thank you sisters for teaching to SMILE, TO LAUGH AND TO ENJOY LIFE ONCE AGAIN.

PANALO KAYO. LOVE YOU!!!

I NEED REST

I need a guilt- free, all day in bed,music tripping Day off...












So Help me God.





Or else I'LL be dead in few months.

Need 2 Groups

Haay Lord,
Two more to go...I need two groups where I can grow in an another phase. I hope You will open and lead me to a Christian group of artists, preferably painters and be with them and learn through them and Paint with all my heart as I see the beauty of Your creation.
Second, I want to join a dance group where I can learn interpretative dancing and worship You with all that I have.
Right now, I 'm thankful where you placed me. I'M LEARNING A LOT. Through IVCF, I'm learning servant-leadership, CICF- Application of the trainings I have, Haribon Foundation - I'm learning and appreciating Your Creation and how to protect it, I'm also welcome in Onesimo foundation where I have also group of ladies who are growing in grace in You.
NYMM. Thank you! after two years of waiting to be a part of this movement, you placed me here and partnering with "bigating" mobilizers.Hehehe...
I'm so thankful I meet different kinds of people and groups. Someday, You will lead me where I am most needed and where I will adequately grow.
Thank You. I know You'll answer me in Your time. Amen.

Science and Bible

I affirm my teacher during my 4th year highschool. During our World History Class, he added to his lecture the consistency of the Bible in its contribution in documenting history of kings and kingdoms who captured Israel, apparently, are the mighty kingdoms during their times.

Also, I have watched a documentary film that presented the Bible facts and its consistency with science. It is so amazing that my faith which is anchored in the Truth (the Bible) is being affirmed by science and not the way around.

Although many scientists are said to be 'atheist' and keep on insisting that there is no God, they can't refute the reality of God's creation. My friends who loves God and is scientifically inclined (and soon they will be an excellent scientists and medical doctors) is always in awe whenever they come across a subject and science can't explain how it happened and it is intricately created, for example, the complexities of human brain and body. And it is so impossible that it is just 'evolved' by itself.

In my field of psychology, which is the study of human behavior (but I like sociology better...hehehe) theorists just mixed and evolve and created scientific terms on human behavior and emotions, which is from the start has been a constant reminder to us from God to "...guard our heart, for it is a well-spring of life." God knew better.

Psychology in its expertise aims to understand and to a wider extent, desires to treat a person as he is having an emotional or mental problem. But Jesus offers healing and freedom from the things that enslave a person. Because He is the Truth and the Life, also, the Only Way.

It is funny for other people to think that they know better when they have knowledge in science and that they doesn't need God. Others seem to believe in God, but they are so full of themselves and subtlely may think they are god and have things their own way because sometimes, if one has knowledge in science, he has the capacity to manipulate things.

After all, at the end of our road, we are still under God's mercy. What do we have to boast? Me, I just enjoy the learnings I acquire and always remind myself that Truth and all these learnings I awe to my Master. Enjoy life, cherish and value people. If I know everything in this world but does not know how to love, LIFE IS BORING.

Learning To Pray more

A blessed Birthday to my Cousin- Reynalie Motin!

Pupunta ako sa kanila mamaya. Baka dun na rin ako matulog.

Kahapon, I can sense na wala sa mood ang sangkatauhan para magkitakita at mag business meeting. Personally, ako naman, parang malalaglag ang puso ko sa eekie feeling. Basta, hindi ko madescribe. Not to mention yung feeling ko na I'm so vulnerable that time. Hindi ko kakayanin if may problem na magshare sa akin. Kasi ako nga, gusto ng makakausap, Mahihingahan. Pero after the short meeting, Victorious ang Lord. Salamat sa Worship time namin sa Lord at pagcoclose ni Echo sa panalangin, I felt better. God's peace enveloped me.

I dropped by sa SM. Hehehe...feeling ko may isang malaking invisible glass ang nakashelter sa akin.Feeling ko rin lutang ako.

Lakad ang drama ko.nakakapagod din. Kaya lang nung last part na, nung naghihintay na ako ng jeep para one ride pauwi, 45 minutes- 1hour yata ako nag intay. Sa king pag-iintay, The Lord prompted me to pray all kinds of prayer...hehehe..then poof! dumating na yung jeep.

I just remember my prayer last time. I asked Him to level up my prayer life. Haay... I have so much to learn.

Ayun, thank God for rest ngayon. Kahit feeling ko vulnerable pa rin ako.

Thank God for His promises...I'm learning to claim it na.

Haay...I need to talk to kindred spirits ulit. But every body seems so busy.

Astig na Pinsan and Some rants

Kanina, After lunch and after church, Cousin ko, si Rin-Rin ay naglambing sa akin na mag ARTS raw kami, I asked her what kind? sabi nya kahit ano raw. Kaya, nilatag ko ang wonder banig, nilabas ang mga art raw materials. She made a birthday card na unique at maganda, while I'm trying to finish my papier mache. Grabe, talented ng pinsan ko, She's so good in playing guitar, Drawing at ang panalo sa lahat ay ang pagiging tahimik nya. She can be with you for hours na walang reaction o salita. That doesn't bothered me. inggit nga ako sa kanya , meron siyang ganung reputation. Di tulad sa akin may expectation mag salita, at kapag nagsalita naman ako, mamimiss-interpret. Hahaha! Ironic talaga.

Tumawag si nanay kanina, wala lang akong ganang kausapin siya kasi pera na naman ang topic. I'M SO SICK ABOUT MONEY MATTERS. Iba na talaga ang dating kapag pera na ang pinag-uusapan. Parang mas importante ang magtipid kaysa ang kamustahin ako.(Haha! magdrama daw ba?!?) Oh well, the brighter side of my situation now is I'm learning to pray intelligently for my family kasi wala akong magawa sa situation namin. Ang disadvantage, Hindi ako makapagshare sa phone. I'd rather listen sa mga kwento kaysa ako ang nagkukwento. I just feel that the other party is not interested to my story. Rather, It's just me. Hindi ko lang talaga feel magkwento over the phone. Kahit nga sa tatay ko.

Days that passed, same pa din ang nararamdaman ko. I just thank the Lord sinasamahan nya talaga ako. He keeps me sane.Still experiencing the dose of my weird prayers.

May toyo ako kanina, I admit. I can tolerate some mistakes, But I guess kapag ang mistake na na commit ng tao ay opposed sa values na mayroon ako, I find it hard to to forgive. I am learning and understanding myself sa phase na ito ng buhay ko. I know should not be like this. Kasi there will be more and more people who will hurt me. I will not let it happen.

I can not disciple all. But I'm praying for 4 high school girls na pwede kong idisciple. Yung potential. At higit sa lahat, yung marunong makinig.

I am telling Pastor kanina na it is interesting to research on (and find?) guys who grew to manhood with an exceptional, if not good character , even if they grew up without a father. Kasi naman, we all know Fathers have crucial role in a child's life. And we say in fact or in theory na kaya nagiging bading o barumbado ang isang lalaki because wala siyang Ama.

I know a good guy-friend of mine na bata pa lang, wala na siyang Ama, napatay(?) But as I observe him, He is one of the gentlemen I know existing.Hehehe...I need to know others pa.

Which reminds me, I want to research on youth culture. Sana research ang work ko after I graduate.

Hmm... these are my rants for today.I'm missing my siblings so much.

ThE Calling (?!?)

I Just realized, nung bagong Christian ako, or nung 1st time ko magdesire na lumago sa Panginoon, I asked for His Will...ahem, ahem, this is not the usual context ng "God's will" on waiting or looking for future partners, But to really know God's will in my life. Alam ko na nga ba? But in my present state, I can say na nalaman ko na, and that is to fall in love with my Savior each day.

Ngayon naman, level up na ba ito? I'm asking my Lord what is His calling for me after college life? I learned from mentors, mga ate sa pananampalataya,na ang Calling ng Lord may alter. Basta, gets ko sila. Dati yung fear ko sa calling ay baka ipadala ako ng Lord sa lugar na hindi ko feel, or hindi ako competent, pero magaling ang Lord. Hindi naman siya berdugo at sadista na ipipilit ang mga bagay na "hindi ko feel" hinuhubog Niya ang puso ko ayon sa nais nya. which is beautiful.

But my problem now, which also freaks me out is ang mga doubts. No question na mahal ko ang mga ginagawa ko, But what if what I'm doing and giving is not enough? Feeling ko magiging palpak ako.

Minsan na-vavibes ko na sobrang laking expectations ng mga tao sa akin, e escape artist ang inyong lingkod, kaya minsan gusto ko na lang maglaho. Kaya minsan ayaw ko magvolunteer (but if i-vovolunteer ako ng iba, ok lang..hehehe) kasi baka hindi ko kayang panindigan.

Buti na lang at the end of the day, gusto ng Lord ko na maging Anak lang Niya ako in His presence. Walang credentials,positions, etc. Just a child in His arms.

So, sa lahat ng pinasilip ng Lord na doors sa akin, saan nya kaya ako papapasukin after I graduate? And I pray na I'll graduate gracefully.

Thank you Lord!

May exams pa ako bukas.

Tagged by Rovy

Hehehe...In fairness cute nitong Tag challenge dear. Medyo lampas yata sa 10.Miss you! God bless!

iNsTrUcTiOnS: Name ten (10) of life's simple pleasures that you like the most, then pick ten (10) people to do the same. Try to be original and creative and not to use things that someone else has already used.

10.Travel. Pamasahe lang ang dala, yet marami na ang adventure na nangyari.

9.Tumambay sa National Bookstore,bili ng book,magazine or raw material for my arts and crafts.

8.Mabigyan ng chocolates with nuts!pwede na ring chocnuts. hahaha...naalala ko nun, naiyak ako sa sobrang tuwa kasi dumating pinsan ko and mabigyan ng tsokolate, M&Ms w/Peanuts and Snickers.

7. Magbasa ng mga natapos ko ng prayer journals and high light mga quotes na nagawa ko sa sobrang senti with God.

6.Read childrens book with pictures.hehehe...

5. White roses,fireworks,love letters,star gaze in any province.hehehe

4. Arts and Craft time with my bestfriend, pwede rin mag join ang may gusto.

3.Makabili ng books,magazine, bags,any of my interests at a very low price. Yung tipong love gift na lang sa may ari ang ibabayad sa kanya. (I got Health mag for Php 25.00, Road Less Travelled from P500+ to P150 lang, Adidas big Shoulder bag worth a thousand pesos for P20.00.hehehe)

2.Heart to heart talks with kindred spirits

1.Know that I am loved.

I pass the ball to..

1. Tarits
2. Mommy Hannah
3. Mommy Chiri
4. Lady Timbrelsgreen
5. Bluestar_beauty
6. Ark
7. Johanna
8. Ate Mide
9. Billy
10. Karl

I remember...

What would you do on a Sunday rainy afternoon? Me, memories flashing back...some of these are:

• Intayin si Ate Jo sa terminal ng Jam Station sa Buendia,maiwan na last trip sa Lemery, bumiyahe puntang Lipa,pagbaba ay parang walang hinahabol na oras at kumain sa chowking at our own pace, paglabas ay saktong may Bus papuntang Lemery. Should we be late, sa kalye kami magpapaumaga.Pero hindi. God is just right in time. Sobrang hele kami as we travel for pre-camp time sa LCDC2K4.
• I remember na nakaheart to heart talk ko agad si Kit from the first time we met sa Bataan LCDC2K2.
• Miss ko na ang bonding/jamming namin sa banyo ni Tarits sa mga songs na may voice na may parts.She sings the alto part,me, the soprano. hehehe..
• First time ko maivite nun as an ISCF junior counselor summer 2K3. Hahaha..ang first assignment ko ay ang mag turo sa card making workshop. And dakilang assistant sa lahat ng bagay. which is so ok.
• First time to realize I can't do what I'm supposed to do (which is to be an "ate" to the young ones) and realizing its an honor to serve the Lord and nakakatakot at the same time. Sobrang iyak ko nung ISCF precamp worship time.
• Worship Night nung IVCF LCDC2K4. We are a broken people giving our all and humblest worhip to the Author and Finisher of our faith. WE REALLY STAND IN AWE IN HIM DURING THAT TIME.And we are never the same after that.
• IVCF LCDC2K5.Is the best LCDC for me. Not because sobrang ganda ng camp, but it was the camp I saw the Lord moved in each and every one and in the whole camp. His hand was upon us.We are humbled that it was really His work.When our strength is pushed to the limits, His grace abounds and we can all say This is Him who works.
• MLC EXEC2K5 Q.T. Together in Mt. Gethsemane Tower Q.T. room. Haay...dito ko mas minahal ang MLC people and MLC ministry, how the Lord has gathered us and worhip Him in our thankfulness and tireness. Amazing how the Lord is working in and through us during this camp.
• Camp Praise and Prayer Times. Mapa ISCF,IVCF-LCDC, KC Praise and prayer times makes me human and never fails to make me cry. Sobrang overwhelming, minsan wala na maipanalangin, iiyak na lang sa Lord. Sobrang amazing ang umawit ng papuri sa umaga kasama ng kapaligiran na kay ganda ng gawa ng Manlilikha.
• Ang mainvite na Camp Artist sa ISCF LCDC2K6.Hesitant ako, but this is God's way for me to share my hidden talent.hehehe...
• Worship time with Highschoolers in LCDC2K6. It never enough.I miss the time worhipping God in our brokeness, hiya, hesitancy,and Moses syndrome.haha
• Iyakan namin ni Ida.hehehe...I really love this sister of mine.I thank and Praise God for her life.
• Kawayan Camp moments. paano ko makakalimutan ito? No. 1 taga gulo ng buhay. Hehehe...anyways, I became more human, or even, this is just a haven of rest, for the rest of my life ay maalis at maalis ako sa comfort zone ko.
• KC Missions experience: tumambling ako literary and left me swollen right knee due to Missions jouney and difficulty assimilation.feeling ko nga sa laki ng maga sa tuhod ko ay magkakacancer ako.hahaha...Hindi ako nakajoin sa worship time, Ate cheery joined me in weeping.I really wept very hard.
• Pinaiyak ako sa song ni Karl nung worship time nung LCDC. Grr..but the Worship song is really good.
• I realized that we are "first hand-student missionaries" in school. That makes my KC experience freaky.hehehe...
• Good byes are the hardest. Hindi pa rin yata graceful ang IVCF on good byes.Pero ok lang. Atleast we have something to look forward to, after ungraceful goodbyes.

Marami pa iba, I believe I will remember it soon. But also, I remember my Lord's faithfulness and my kapalpakan. Still he loves me. Salamat.

Pa-Ampon

Lord,

Sana may family na mag-ampon sa akin in my present state. Ano kaya ang feeling na ako naman ang inaampon? Marami ako "kapatid sa labas" by my family's choice. And I myself, in a sense ay nagkaroon ng anak, kaya lang ngayon nilayo siya sa akin.Hmm... ngayon kaya Lord sino aampon sa akin? You know my needs Lord. I believe you will answer that in Your own time.

Still, thank you for people you are placing in my life. Bless them as they blesses me.

Thank you Lord. for you are my Lord and you are in control.

I love you.

I LOVE YOU

Akala ko manhid na ako...or wala na ako matututunan sa buhay. Still, The Lord is letting me learn. In tears. To be human once again, to learn to love, and fall in love with Him, til it hurts.

The core of my existence is to worship my Savior. Kaya lang minsan, it will be put to the test. Ang hirap pala.Nakakatakot. Feeling ko hindi ako papasa.

I want to give my Lord the best. Kaya lang minsan, my best is not good enough. Parang hindi papasa sa kahit na anong standards. Praise Him, he reminded me na all He wants is not my accomplishments,credentials or what I attained, He desires me to be His child who is willing to have bonding with Him, to cry to Him, and desire His presence always.

I remember my heartfelt prayers. Nung mga oras na sinabi ko yung mga prayers na iyon, umiiyak ako. Kasi nakakatakot kaya yung hinihingi ko. Bakit kasi yun ang pinagpray ko? Kasi nga, MAHAL KO SIYA.simple as that but it not seem to be that simple.

This is the dose of my prayer. Nyaknyak...konti pa lang ba ito?!? malamang.

Pero I'm still thankful. Kasi connect ako sa aking humanity and existence. Tao pa rin ako. Marunong pa rin ako umiyak.

This is worshipping in Brokenness.

I love YOU.

Trying To be nice

Nah, what I read, being "nice" is "being stupid" kaya trying to be kind na lang.Last saturday, medyo sumakit ang ulo ko sa mga truths na I have to re-learn right away. Thanks for the gentle rebuke of mommy chiri.

I will re-learn to be kind and to be patient again to people I can't understand.

I'm also re-learning to connect to people who unconsciously "hurted" me. I'm not doing this kasi kaya ko, but because this is what Jesus wants me to do.He'll give me strength to obey.

***sigh***

Missing a Secured life

I'm missing my secured moments. Basta...feeling ko ngayon I'm so vulnerable. Anytime magbebreak down. I'm also feeling na hindi enough ang mga efforts ko. I don't desire for affirmation. I desire for security. Kung wala as of now, have no choice.This is what I chose. Intay lang ng konti... UWIAN NA...bakit kasi ang tagal-tagal.

I have no one to talk to...kawawa naman ang makakarinig ng kwento ko.

Gusto ko bumalik sa Gethsemane Prayer Mountain!!!!

MAAWA KA...

Announcements Muna ulit...

IVCF Corporation Meeting

Punta Kayo...hopefully makapunta din ako. may class ako nyan e.

Announcements Muna...

HARIBON FORUM FOR JULY:

GOING NATURAL: What are the benefits of organic food and farming?
July 20, 2006;
6:00 PM
Meralco Mini-Theater,
Lopez Building, Meralco CenterOrtigas Avenue, Pasig City
Entrance fees are P20 for students and P50 professionals/ non-students.

Haribon Members get 10% off! We request that you confirm your attendance by calling Vyxz Vasquez at436-4363 or 920-7430 or email us at advocacy@haribon.org.ph,



Please feel free to print and post this on your office/church/barangay/school Bulletin Board!

Sana masurvive ko ito...

May reporting ako. Still I'm not ready. Sana masurvive ko ngayung araw. Ayaw ko na nasa ibang lugar kapag malakas ang ulan. I hate it, especially when I'm in school during rainy days. May trauma na ako na mastranded anywhere other than home. haay....

PROVE THEM

Di pa raw kasi ako naiin-love kaya ganito ako, Parang sabi ng friend ko na nirerefute sya nang sinabi nya sa iba na "You become wise from learning from your mistakes, but you are wiser if you learn from others mistakes"...hindi sila naniniwala sa kanya.

Parang ganun din ako ngayon.Ibang anggulo nga lang." Hindi ka pa kasi na-iinlove kaya mo nasasabi yan..." ay utang na loob! yeah, I may be wrong sa mga pasaway na side comments ko kanina, but my whole point is, (which, they didn't gave me the chance to speak up 'coz they "know" more) When you said GOODBYE,GOODBYE NA. wala nang balikan. grr...pakialaman ba lovelife ng may lovelife. Also,bumabalik kung sino ang love mo.If the person is really is a JESUS FREAK,SOBRANG IN LOVE KAY JESUS,PATI ANG MAIN-LOVE SA TAO AY BINUBUNO AT HINIHINGI PA SA DIYOS. AT HINDI MAGPAPAKATANGA AT MAGPAPABUNTIS.

sO, FOR SHORT, Hindi nakakatulong ang mga remarks nila...Nakakainis

NAG GIGRIEVE LANG KASI ANG HEART KO SA MGA YOUTH WHO MADE THE OLDIES THINK THAT WAY. BUT I BLAME THE OLDIES DIN IN A WAY NA THEY DIDN'T MAKE THE EFFORT TO REACH OUT TO THESE YOUTH NA SINASABI NA MAAGA MAGLANDI. AND THEY HAVE THE NERVES NA SABIHIN NA "A...GANITO TALAGA KAYONG KABATAAN....BLAH...BLAH..."

MASAKIT.THEY DON'T CARE.

KAYA FOR YOU CHRISTIAN YOUTH OUT THERE...MGA JESUS FREAK, PROVE THOSE OLDIES (OR YUNG PESSIMISTIC AT HINDI NAKAKATUWANG SPIRIT NA MERON SILA) THEY ARE WRONG.

I KNOW WE CAN ONLY STAY PURE BY GOD'S GRACE.

LET YOUR LIFE SHOW WHO'S IN CONTROL. REACH OUT...LET US NOT COMMIT THE SAME MISTAKES AGAIN.LET US MAKE JESUS SMILE.

DUMB CONVERSATION

What do you get from talking to an old lady with a fixed mind and an old maid who only believes what she is seeing?You get a DUMB CONVERSATION. I'm not saying that they are DUMB. what makes the whole thing DUMB was that their minds are closed and they are sold out in what they believe.

They won't listen. Perhaps, I can sense that they won't listen to what I will say, and the whole situation turned out to be that I'm the looser.

I don't know. Although they won't listen, I know in my heart that what the Bible says is true than believing the reality that's happening.

Sakit lang sa ulo. But I have to set my self free.

So, I rented 4 vcds to soothe my soul. Ayaw ko ng kausap pag galit ako.I may release anger sa makikinig.kawawa naman sila pag magkataon. Besides, sometimes I'm tired of myself hearing same old hang-ups again. thanks to techie...on the other hand, I need money.hehehe...

Reminders to Self...

Lorah, you need to be extra kulit.discern alibis, know your ground, demand what is good,YOUR AUTHORITY IS FROM AND THROUGH THE ONE WHO PLACED YOU THERE.

Don't easily be intimidated.Be intrinsically motivated by your Master.

Live Life eachday.Creatively.

Problems are ment to be solved and Prayed for.Not to think over.

Filter every info you receive.Strain through God's Word.

Be a Friend.But don't compromise what the TRUTH says.

Rest. Have time for your self.

Pray through.

Affirm.Look at the good of the people.

Manage your time. Sacrifice is inevitable.

Sabi ng mga ate, Take it easy...relax.

Be inlove to the One who promised and will always be faithful.

Lord...help.

I need Grace

I don't blame anybody...maybe for one...Myself.

I just feel so alone.

I'm with people but they seem so distant.

Or maybe its just me.

I don't know what to say.

I don't bother people who doesn't care...

I desire for people who love the Lord.

My inner circle are away...I don't know if I'm welcome to somebody's life.

I need grace. I need miracle.